Time Can't Heal
by joyful-soul3
Summary: It's been more than six years since Edward left. Bella is married to Jacob, but her hole is still there, and she's mildy going insane with everything that's happened. What will happen to her when Jacob imprints?
1. Anniversary

January nineteenth. Seven years. Seven whole years since I first laid eyes on Edward Cullen, the vampire I was once in love with. Even if he had told me he didn't want me, the memory of him was stapled onto me, mentally and physically. I thought of the day I saw him, the way his cold, black eyes glared at me with hate. The way he sat as far away as possible from me with clenched fists. And then I remember when he spoke to me, his beautiful, velvet voice was so luring.

Thinking of him made the edges of my hole rip. My breath was starting to leave me, and I had to work on breathing deeply, in and out. I was getting better at this, considering that I have been going through it for years. For the first two years, his name would make me have to clutch my stomach in order to breathe. It got better afterwards. Now it only happened on certain dates. For instance, today, or the day he ripped my stomach in two and left me to bleed. Sometimes, my hate for him is so strong, I wonder how I could have ever loved him. And then I remember everything and I can't breathe. No matter how much I denied it, there was a part of me that still loved him. He had a piece of my heart that I would never get back. A peice that Jacob couldn't obtain.

Jacob and I have been marriend for five years. We have one daughter, Charlize Renee, who is only four. I named her in memory of my father, who died of a heart attack after the fire. I have to clutch my stomach to keep from throwing up. Whenever I thought of his death, I want to kill myself. How could I have done that to him? To anyone?

I am one screwed up human being. First, I fall in love with a vampire. During those months, I almost get killed by an evil, sadistic vampire. I even wanted to be one. Then, he leaves me scarred and bleeding. I find a friend in Jacob, who turns out to be a werewolf. He ends up almost getting killed by fighting Victoria by himself. Not to mention the fact that she killed Billy before fighting Jacob. It took Jacob months to recover. During those months, I find myself in the gym at Forks High School with a beer in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Tears begin to roll down my face as I remember that night ...

_As I lie on the floor, drunk and crying, I remember that night I spent with Edward. He looked so beautiful in his tuxedo. Even with make up, a hair job, and a beautiful dress, I still didn't look fit to be with him. Especially with that damn cast on. But he didn't care. Nor did her care how stubborn I was about going. He just wanted me to have a nice, normal human experience._

_I remeber when we walked in, the seperation of the dance floor. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were all waltzing, everyone else backing away in awe. I remember the way Edward lifted me up off the ground and twirled me around, and I couldn't help but smile. And I remember the way he got all tense when Jacob arrived._

_The thought of Jacob makes me cry even harder. He was lying in a bed, barely alive, grieving about the fact that Billy had been torn to shreds by my enemy. By Edward's and mine enemy. "I HATE YOU!!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I was standing now. I don't know how, since my alcohol level was way above normal. "I WISH YOU WOULD DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" I knew Edward couldn't hear me, but it didn't stop me from telling him how I felt. "Everything is like this because of you!! If you had never come, Victoria would have never come! I wouldn't be hated throughout the La Push Reservation! Jacob would be better! Billy would still be alive! I WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!!" I take what is left of my beer and pour it in a circle around me. I take the lighter and set the circle on fire. The flames light up around me, and it doesn't take long for it to spread around the gym. "So long, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! Now everyone will be happy and I'll be happy because I won't have to think of you every single day of my life! I hope that when everything catches up to you, you can burn in hell where you've always belonged!!"_

_The flames are all around me now, and the smoke is intoxicating. I fall to the ground, sobbing and coughing. I knew that this wouldn't be pain free, but at least I'll be free. Even if it is a vast nothingness that's awaiting me, I don't give a damn. I want out. Now. As I slowly go into unconscieness, I here someone yelling. "Bella!" It yells. It's familiar, but I can't figure out who it is. I don't care. I just want to be left alone to die. But of course, nothing I've ever wanted has worked out. I feel like screaming at the pair of stong arms that are lifting me, but my voice is gone. The alcohol has won, and I am officially unconscious._

_The next thing I remember clearly is sitting in a hospital bed, while Embry - the one who rescued me - telling me that my father died of a stroke when he heard I had tried to kill myself._

I now find myself back to the present, sitting on the floor in the kitchen, screaming. "Bella!?" Jacob yells, racing through the door. "Bella, honey, what's wrong?" He asks, holding my shaking body.

"I hate him," I say through my teeth, mainly to myself.

"Hate wh -" He stops halfway, realizing he already knows. I hadn't been this bad in awhile, and it had him worried. "Shhh," he says, trying to soothe me. "It'll be okay." He just holds me, gently rocking me back and fourth. "I'll make it better." I feel his love, it's so strong, and I start crying even harder. Not just from guilt and anger. But from the fact that I'm not sure if his love will ever heal me completely.


	2. Jacob's Suggestion

"Bella?" Jacob asked, quitely. He had been lying next to me for a half hour and hadn't said a word. I was trying to read the Book of Mormon, to see if it made sense. I had been reading different religious books lately, trying to find an answer. But I wasn't even sure what the question was. So far, this book didn't hold anything. Of course, I hadn't read a word. When Jacob was quiet like this, it made me nervous. I had a feeling it had to do with yesterday. No, I knew it had to do with yesterday.

"Yes?" I asked, putting my bookd down, trying to sound calm. I wouldn't look at him, though. I was afraid to see what hhis eyes said.

"Ha-" He hesitated. I was really scared now. What was he going to do? What was the worse that he could say? "Have you ever considered going to a therapist again?" That was not what I had expected. The only time I had ever gone to a therapist was a few weeks after Charlie's death. It didn't help me, because I couldn't ever tell the doctor the truth. If I had, I'd be in an institution.

"A therapist? Jacob, you know it wouldn't help me."

"How do you know?"

"How do I know?" I asked, turning to face him. His eyes were full of nothing but love and pity. He only wanted the best for me. But he should know that therapy would be pointless. "Jacob, I won't be able to tell the doctor the truth. They would think I'm insane if I did."

"What about Dr. Mussina? She all ready knows everything." I had forgotten about her. Dr. Laura Mussina was a therapist who lived on the La Push Reservation. I knew that she was partly related to the Clearwaters. I also knew that everyone thought she was insane. She always wears really long, robe-like clothes and takes walks on the beach every single day. It was like she was looking for something. There was no way in hell I was going to sit in a candle-lit, organic smelling room pouring my heart out to her.

"No," I told him. But Jacob wasn't going to give up with just that.

"Come on," he said. I opened my mouth to say something, but Jacob put his finger to my mouth. "Please, let me talk. Bella, love, I've never seen you act that way since ... I don't even remember when. I understand that you have trouble sometimes, remembering ... remembering what he did to you." His voice cracked, and he looked down, not wanting me to see him cry.

"I'm sorry," I said, putting my hand on his face. I hated it when my problems effected him so much. He didn't deserve to feel any of the pain I felt. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not mad at you. No one is."

"That's not true. Nobody on La Push would speak to me after Billy and Charlie's deathes. Barely anyone in Forks looks at me the same after all these years."

"I look at you the same."

"Ja-" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"You're Bella Swan, my wife and my child's mother. You are the love of my life and a hero in Charlize's eyes. Nothing else matters."

"Everything matters, Jacob," I said. "Did you know that when Charlize came home from Sarah's, she was in tears because Sarah called me a crazy bat? People talk about me. They're waiting for me to lose it. How is that okay?"

"Why don't we leave Forks? We can move to Florida and you could be close to Renee."

"She'll act the exact same way."

"Okay then," Jacob said. "We can move somewhere else. Maine? Illinois?"

"Did you plan this conversation?" I asked.

"Bella I just want you to get help." Tears began to roll down my cheeks, and I knew they weren't going to stop. I got up from the bed, and walked over to the window seal. When Jacob got up to wrap his arms around me, I shrinked away. "Bella?" He asked, startled from the fact that I wasn't letting him close to me. "What is it?"

"You think I'm going crazy."

"No, Be-"

"You think I'm going to lose it like everyone else does."

"Bella I didn't mean that!" He walked closer to me, and again, I kept away from him. "Bella, love." He had me backed into a corner now. He probably didn't realize it, he was just trying to calm me down. But something about this, the way he had this planned, the way I was in the corner with him towering over me felt like doctors were going to jump out of the closet and strap me down to a bed and poke needles in me. Was this what he wanted to happen to me? It couldn't be. He loved me. Than why was he acting like this? Or was it all in my head? "Bella," he said, softly. "I honestly don't think you're insane. But you have gone through some hard times. I know you were deeply in love with Edward, and I can't imagine what you felt like when he left you."

"I am not in love with him. You know that."

"I do know. I know how much you hate him. I know that he has put you through too much stuff with Victoria and just getting you involved with vampires in the first place. But still, Bella, you're going to need help. Profressional help. You need to try to let go of everything."

"How could I forget everything? I never will! I can't ever forget Charlie's and Billy's death or your injury or the fact that they had to rebuild half of Forks High School."

"I know you won't be able to forget everything. But you need to let it pass and move on."

"I have moved on. I moved on with you and Charlize."

"Not completely."

"This is starting to sound like an you-still-love-Edward talk. Didn't we just cover that?"

"Yes, we did," he said. "But you still are not all here. And don't say I'm saying you still love Edward, but I am saying that you haven't let go of everything else. Of anything else, actually. Edward is the only thing that you've really let go of, except for the hatred part. But everthing else? Like you just said, you will never let go. But you need to try to do that."

"How?"

"Therapy."

"No!" I yelled. "It won't help. If you really wanted me to get help, you would just love me and leave it be."

"I've been doing that for way too long. It's time for you to talk to someone other than your family. Think of how Charlize would react if she caught you screaming the kitchen like yesterday?"

"It won't happen again."

"How do you know that, Bella?" Before I could answer, there was a light knock on the door. "Charlize?" Jacob asked, walking over to the door and opening it. There she stood, teary eyed clutching on to her teddy bear. "Charlize, what's wrong?" He asked, getting down on his knees to take her into his arms.

"I had a bad dream," she said, crying. I walked over to her kissed her on the head and picked her up.

"It's okay, sweetie," I said, wiping her tears away. "It was only a dream. Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

"Daddy got attacked by a big lion." A shiver was sent down my spine, not just because it made me think of a possibilty of Jacob getting hurt. But because of the fact that I knew who the lion was.

"Oh, honey," I said, kissing her cheek. "If a lion ever got near Daddy I'm sure he would be able to beat it. Nothing will ever hurt him."

"You promise?" She asked Jacob. Jacob smiled and took her from my arms, picking her way up off the ground and spinning her around.

"I promise," he said. "Mommy and I were just going to bed. You want to come snuggle under the covers?" Charlize's answer was yes of course. She told him to spin her around again. He was such a good father. He never deserved to lose his own father. And I knew he was in pain about what he had seen yesterday and how I had pulled away from him tonight. I couldn't let him go through any more kind of pain. Which is when I finally understood why he wanted me to see the therapist. He knew that he couldn't heal me completely with his love. I needed professional help. He hated to see me in pain. I hated to see him in pain.

"Jake?" I asked him. He was giving Charlize another spin. If her spun her much more she was going to get an awful headache.

"Yes?"

"I'll go." I didn't want to say anything else, since I didn't want Charlize to know anything about it. I didn't have to say anything more, though. He just looked at me with the most loving and sincere eyes, let Chalize down, and gave me a little kiss on the lips.

"Thank you," he whispered. And then he went back to being the fun father for Charlize, while I stood there watching, trying to keep the tears from falling. They weren't sad tears, though. They were happy. I was so happy because I had such a wonderful family. So I put the therapy aside and Charlize's too realistic nightmare that I didn't even have aside. I felt like I hadn't been trying very hard lately. It was all going to change now. Everything would be different. We would be normal and happy again, because I realized that we weren't before. It was going to be okay.

All thanks to Jacob.

**EEERR!! I feel like this was such a let down chapter. I know all it really explained was the whole therapy thing and that the whole dream thing didn't quite fit or make sense or whatever. But I was in a hurry to finish this chapter and I let my fingers go without thinking. I'll tame them next time and make sure everything fits and is better. Anyway, please give me time to get the next chapter, since I've got some huge tests coming up and I won't be able to write. But I'll be done with school after that and I'll be able to dedicate some time to it. Thanks for the patience for this chapter. Please review!!**

**This is joyful-soul3, siging out in 5-4-3-2-1.**


	3. Therapy

Lima beans. That was the other mysterious smell in this place. I had been sitting here in a very uncomfortable chair at Dr. Laura Mussina's for the past ten minutes trying to figure out all the different smells. So far, I had discovered ginger, lilacs, and Lima beans. I had forgotten that I knew what Lima beans smelt like. But I was sure she had to have cooked some earlier. There were other smells, probably just some Indian spices. I could also smell the herbal tea that she was making in the kitchen. She told me that "it soothes the mind and helps you concentrate on what is going on in the inside." I hate tea. She wasn't going to make me drink it. And how would it be able to soothe my mind? Nothing else could. What was I doing here?

Jacob. Think of Jacob. And Charlize. They were the reason I was here. Even if this didn't help me, Jacob would still know that I was trying to get better. But I kept hoping this would help me in some way. Hopefully just telling Dr. Laura about everything that has happened - even if it sent me screaming - would help me.

"Now, Bella, do you put cream in your tea?" Dr. Laura asked me as she walked into the room.

"No, please," I said. I wasn't going to deny the tea straight to her face. It would most likely hurt her feelings. "Just sugar, if you have some."

"Oh, I never let my clients put sugar in their tea. It makes them too jumpy." Oh come on.

"Oh, that's okay," I said, taking the plain cup of tea she held out for me. It didn't smell like anything I knew, like green tea or chai spice. I took a sip of the tea, hoping I wouldn't unexpectedly drop dead.

"Do you like it?" Dr. Laura asked. I loved it. A strange relaxing feeling was overwhelming me. When I took another sip, I felt as if I could tell this woman anything, like this was my best friend's house and I was visiting her for the thousandth time. I feeling of rightness fell over me, just from tea. What had this woman put in it? I know there was cinnamon in it. I loved cinnamon. But was this woman more than a therapist?

"It's delicious. I love cinnamon."

"Oh, I know, dear." How would she know that? Jacob hadn't talked to her before I came. She barely knew anything about me, other than the fact the whole town thought I was going insane. "Now, let's begin," she said, sitting down. "Bella, why don't you tell me about when you first saw Edward." I flinched. Why did she have to start right there? "Tell me everything. Please don't hold back."

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. This was not going to be easy. But I had to do this. I knew I could. I just had to tell her about the cafeteria and biology class and the registrations office. It was going to be fine. "I first spotted him in the cafeteria. He was sitting at a table far away from mine. He was with his family. They weren't speaking to each other or looking at each other. They didn't seemed interested in anything. But that wasn't why I was interested. They were all so perfectly beautiful, with their pale skin and the dark circles under their eyes." I remembered that day so clearly, I was surprised with myself. "When I asked my friend Jessica who they were, they told me that they were the Cullens, who had moved to Forks from Alaska two years ago. I asked her which one the boy with the reddish brown hair was, she said his name was Edward. His eyes instantly looked at Jessica, and then to me, like we had called his name. He looked away, though, as if he were uninterested. But I still couldn't take my eyes off of him. And when his eyes found their way to mine again, there was a look of frustration in them. The next time I saw him was in biology class. I had to sit at the same table with him. He sat on the edge of his chair, as far away as possible from me, his hands clenched into fists. He glared at me with cold, black eyes as if he wanted to kill me. I was scared, interested, and intrigued. When the bell rang, he got out of there as fast as possible. I saw him again when I went to the registrations office. He was trying to change his schedule. When I walked in, he froze, as if he knew I was in there. He ended the conversation he was having with the one woman - I can't remember her name - and walked out of there as fast as possible. I was so confused. I looked for him at school the next day and the next day, but I never found him."

I kept going on for hours. I told her everything, every specific detail. I told her about when I found out Edward was a vampire and the time I was almost killed by James. I told her about when Edward left and when I found out Jacob was a werewolf. I told her about Billy's death and why I wanted to kill myself. I told her about Charlie's death and Charlize's birth. I told her about my explosion in the kitchen last week. I told her everything, and I wasn't afraid. It was as if that tea had really calmed me, and it helped me to let go.

When we were finished, I was surprised to to only find one tear rolling down my cheek. Only one tear. I never screamed once. I didn't start shaking. I just told her and it felt great. "That was wonderful, Bella," Dr. Laura told me as we stood up. I was really stiff. How long had we been talking? A full three hours. I described six years of my life in three hours. "How do you feel?"

"Much better, actually," I said. "Why do I feel that way? All I did was talk about my life?" Dr. Laura smiled at me.

"Sometimes, just telling someone that isn't a close friend or family member what happened can help. It makes the person feel like they're not in a cave, hiding. In your case Bella, that is exactly what it was. You could call it a way of putting the past behind you. Now, you can't completely erase your past. It's part of who you are. But you have been living in your past. You needed a way out, and that was part of the way. You will still need some guidance, from Jacob and others who love you. You may come back again if you need someone to talk to."

* * *

As I left Dr. Laura's house, I could have skipped to the car. I was so happy. I couldn't even figure it out myself. She had given me an unclear answer, but I didn't care. I had described my life to a woman I didn't know and that had helped me. Why? Oh it didn't matter. I was happy, nothing was going to destroy that. I was going to go home to my loving family and be normal.

Life is going to be so much better.

**Author's Note:**

**I am sorry this was such a lame chapter. It's just to show ... well, you'll see. For those of you who are sticking to this story, it won't take so long for the next one since I'm on my vacation. And please review!! I need to know what you think. Thanks so much to** **9ud9ir190ne9ad. You're the only one who told me what you thought on the last chapter :) Thanks for waiting for this one, I promise it'll get much better.**

**This is joyful-soul3 signing out in 5-4-3-2-1 ...**


	4. Imprint

* * *

Something is wrong. Something is really really wrong. I have been sitting here on the floor playing with Charlize and Jacob hasn't said a word. He's just been sitting there at the table with a blank face. The moment he walked through the door I knew something was wrong. He said hello, kissed me and Charlize on the cheek, and then sat there. He was so happy yesterday when I came home from therapy. What happened? Did someone say something about me? Did something happen to someone? Should I ask him? All of these questions have been going through my head over and over again. I finally decided to try and focus on Charlize, when the sound of his voice made me jump. "Bella." He said. I looked up, and he was standing over us. The look on his face reminded me of when he tried to push me away six years ago. I remember that day, when I tried to get him to talk to me about Sam and the others. Little did I know, he had been going through his change. A change from a human to a werewolf. The look on his face was a look of uninterest, but there was also a pained expression. What did he need to talk about? "May I talk to you?" He asked. I nodded, getting up. He headed towards the back bedroom and I followed. He shut the door and turned to face me. "Bella, there's something I need to tell you about."

"What is it?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible and failing.

"I really don't know how to say this, but ..." Oh God. This is bad.

"Just say it, Jacob."

"Bella, I've imprinted."

**Author's note:**

**I know! Short! And a cliffhanger. We needed one of those. But did you like it? I know it was quick, and the next one won't be so quick. But you have got to review!! Sorry. Hyper. Bye :)**

**This is joyful-soul3 signing out in 5-4-3-2-1 ...**


	5. Nightmare

I was living a nightmare. I always was. First Edward leaves me with a hole in my chest. Jacob repairs me. And then he imprints, leaving his own hole. A much bigger one. If I thought I wasn't whole before, well, now I was completely nothing. Why would God or whoever has power over us do this to me? Honestly. I am now a single mother who can't even move because there's too much pain. Jacob is gone. No where in sight. We filed divorce papers and he has moved in with his precious soul mate Carrie. He'll come and visit Charlize when he can. At the moment, she's at Sarah's because I don't want her see me like this. She doesn't have an idea about what's going on.

All I've been doing for the past five days is lie on the couch. I can't go to my bed because it was the bed I shared with Jacob. I haven't eaten, talked, or even cried. I can't cry. I'm still in shock. Shock that my life is officially over. I'm forgetting everything. Where I am, who I am, who my daughter is. I hate this. I can't stand it. This is a hundred times worse than how I felt the night of the fire. I was just mad and wanted to die. I was all ready dead right now. I was death stuck in a human body.

What would they think? What would happen if someone came to check on me and I was dead? I don't think I could do that. To Charlize. Jacob ... Well, Jacob. I can't say that I wouldn't want to do that to him. But I knew that the only effect it would have on him is he would be sad his child didn't have a mother. He doesn't care about me. Neither does Edward.

"Why?" I whisper as I roll off the couch. I could almost scream by how much pain there is tearing through me. I took a few Tylonel, maybe hoping to relieve the pain. It didn't work. It'll never work. I'll always be in pain. Forever. Time can't heal. It never will.

What am I doing in the bedroom? No. I am not going to do this. I can't. Think of Charlize. I can't shoot myself. This won't happen either.

And yet ... Here I am. Dad taught me to load and shoot a gun a long time ago. Jacob kept it in his drawer, just in case I ever needed it since I was just a human. My hands aren't even shaking as I load it. Part of me doesn't want to do this. But that same part wants the pain to go away, and this is the only way. It'll be better this way, I know. I can't raise Charlize now, I know that. Too much damage has been done. I'll never be the same. So this will be the best. For everyone.

As I pull the gun up towards my head, I refuse to let my mind go into one of those flashback modes. I don't want to see anything. I don't want to see Edward or Jacob or any of them. I just want to be pain free. Which is why I pull the trigger without thinking. But there's no sound. I'm still here. Did I load it improperly? No ...

A cold hand is stopping the gun from going off.

**Author's note:**

**Okay .. I know it was a bit of a rush to go to this and that it was really short. But I've been dying to bring him back into it. So yeah. Anyway, I'm sorry it was short. I was planning on making it longer but I was in a hurry because I am tired. The next chapter will take awhile so patience for those who are reading it. Please please please review! I would like to thank those who have added me to their alert or favorites list, but I really would love to hear what you think. So I'll catch ya later and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Toodles!**

**PS: Have any of you guys seen the new teaser trailer for Twilight? If you haven't, you have to go on YouTube and watch it because it's amazing!**


	6. Edward

The cold hand that was keeping my gun from going off was familiar. Hard as granite, cold as ice. Oh my God. There was no way. There was absolutely no way that Edward was here, keeping me from killing myself. It couldn't be him. Either my imagination was going wild and letting me think this while it was really someone else. Or it wasn't him. Someone else from his family. Who? No. It had to be my imagination. But there was no way that my memory would remember the smell. That sweet smell that no cologne could match. It couldn't be though. He doesn't love me. I haven't seen him in six years. How could he just show up like this? Was it Alice? Had she seen a vision of me shooting myself? Why would she be keeping tabs on me?

As all of these questions have been going through my head, the cold hands pried the gun from my fingers. I heard him - please let it be someone else - unloading it and set it on the table. And then there was silence. I suppose he was waiting for me to turn around or say something or burst into tears. I couldn't do any of those things if I tried. I was in too much shock. What just happened? This was a dream, right? He wasn't really here. Why would he be? "Bella?" Oh my God. Oh my God. No no no no no. It was Edward. There was no denying that it was his velvety musical voice. I couldn't breathe anymore. Edward was here, standing beside me. He had just seen me putting a gun to my head. He had stopped me from pulling the trigger. But that wasn't the reason why I couldn't breathe. It was the sound in his voice. It was full of worry and ... love. I could understand if he was worried about me. But love? Did I imagine that part? "Bella," he repeated. I could see him hesitating to put a hand on my shoulder even though I wasn't facing him. He cared. There was no denying that. If he was here, he had to care about me in some way. Did I want him to care? What if I was asleep and this was one of those insanely vivid dreams?

I had to turn around. I needed to face him. I just didn't know if I could. Deep breathes ... I turned myself around inch by inch until I was face to face with Edward. This was no dream. There he stood, looking exactly the same as he did when he left. His bronze hair was untidy as, well, usual. He was still the lanky but toned seventeen year old looking kid. His skin was just as pale as I remembered. His face was tense with compete worry. And his eyes ... His beautiful topaz eyes were full of pity and, as I thought, love. I had seen the love in Edward's eyes before, and there was no mistaking it. "Bella?" He asked me again. His hand went towards my face and I backed away. Even if there were part of me that was grateful to see him, a much bigger part of me was mad. I didn't want him near me. After everything I'd gone through, it was all his fault. I remember the fire and why I killed myself. It was because I was mad at him. This time, I just wanted to be pain free. But I was in pain because of him. I still wanted him to pay.

Without thinking about it, I grabbed the gun from the dresser and pointed it at him and fired. I knew it was empty though. It just clicked. I looked down at the gun and started to cry. When I looked at Edward again, there was a look of pure shock on his face. Pissed that the there were no bullets in the gun, I threw it at him. He quickly dodged it, moving so quickly that it took me a moment to realize he had. "Bella?" He asked, startled by my reaction to him.

"Get out," I hissed.

"Bella, are you all right?" Why would he be stupid enough to ask that question? Even if he couldn't read my mind, he would still know that I wasn't all right. I had just tried to shoot myself and then tried to shoot him. Did that honestly seem all right to him?

"Am I all right? How could I be all right? You just saw me put a gun to my head. Do you even know why I tried to do that?"

"No."

"Ever since you left, I have been put through nothing but pain. Did you know that you left behind your little friend Victoria? Did you know that she killed Billy and almost killed Jacob? Did you know I tried to kill myself after that by setting the Forks High School gym on fire? Did you know that Charlie died of a heart attack after he heard I had tried to kill myself? Did you know that Jacob imprinted? Did you know that I am now a single mother? Of course not! Because if you did, you wouldn't have come to remind me why I went through all of this!!" I was shouting now. I wasn't even the least bit intimidated by Edward. Vampire or not, he was just a coward in my eyes.

"Bella ..." He said, his voice full of regret.

"Edward, could you try saying something more than my name?"

"I did know about Victoria. The only vision Alice had was of her disappearing, so we thought someone had killed her. But, you, trying to ... kill yourself. I didn't know. Alice didn't either. She would have told me. Bella ... Why would you do that to yourself?"

"At the time, everyone would have been a hell of a lot happier without me. We were the reason Billy died."

"You know that's not true."

"Oh my God!" I shouted, making him jump. "How can you say that you heartless son of a bitch? Do you remember the night James, Victoria, and Laurent came to town? You were playing baseball, they came, and figured out I was human. James decided to track me and I had to run to Phoenix where he almost killed me. And then you killed him. Remember any of this?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Well, remember Victoria was James' mate?"

"Yes."

"She decided to do a mate for mate thing. She came after your mate, which she thought was me. Of course, by the time she came, I was nothing but a memory to you." I looked deep into his eyes and saw that he was upset. I didn't give a damn if I had upset him. For a moment I thought I was being heartless. But he deserved much more than this. At least I was set straight. I truly hated him now. No part of me was in love with him anymore. It took me awhile - well, more like six years - to figure that one out. I just had to see him again to realize it.

"Bella, I had no idea."

"Of course not."

"You said that you're a single mother?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered. "She's two and confused about why she hasn't seen her parents in a few days."

"Jacob left her also?" He sounded angry, as if he wanted to start a fight with Jacob. I wouldn't mind if they battled it out and Jacob won in the end. Even if he had imprinted, I hadn't fallen out of love with him. And he was my child's father.

"He said that he'd come when he could. But I mainly have full custody of her."

"Where is she?"

"What it's to you?"

"I don't want your daughter to see you in a state like this."

"Neither do I. But you can stay the hell away from her or I will gladly let Jacob kill you."

"Bella, I didn - "

"Be quiet." I had had enough. I wasn't going to listen Edward rant about how sorry he was or how he wanted to make it all better or whatever he planned on saying. Why did he have to come back? Okay, so maybe it was partially a good thing that he had stopped me from killing myself. It pulled me out of my haze and made me think of everyone but myself. But why couldn't it had been someone else? I didn't want him here. Which is why I told him to get out.

"Bella - "

"Edward," I said, cutting him off again. "I just want you to leave. I don't want to see you. You can take the gun if you like, even though I won't try again. I'm going to go see Charlize after I get cleaned up. So just get the hell out of my house." I looked at him again, and he could tell that if he tried to talk, he would lose. So he grabbed the gun and started to leave but stopped at the door.

"I'll be near by if you need me," he said without turning around. And with that he was gone.

God, I can't believe that just happened. I hadn't seen him in six years. I didn't know I had that much hate boiling in me. How could he not have known anything? Yeah Victoria disappeared in Alice's vision, but he didn't stop to think about the fact that in the vision, she was in Forks? She was near me? Did he not care at the time? If he didn't care then, why would he care now? He just had pity on me? But I knew that the moment he said my name there was a sound of love there. I knew it. But if there was a part of him that was in love with me or if he still loved me and had lied when he left, I would never fall for him again. He had caused to much pain. Also, being married to a werewolf for six years puts a damper on your view of a vampire.

Well, I hope he doesn't stay in Forks for long. I don't like to think about the fact that he's near by. I wish he would get out of here now. Maybe the werewolves will scare him off. I hope they do. Because I do not need Edward Masen Cullen. He thinks I do. I don't. I never will.

He needs to get out of the past. Maybe I'll send him to Dr. Mussina.

**Author's note:**

**Ta-da! Edward is back. I'm not happy with the way I ended this. The doctor joke just kinda came out. But it was long. And Bella finally got straight on her feelings. I'm sorry if everything in the chapter wasn't great, but I am way too tired to make it all better-er-ish. I need sleep. So ... The next chapter will be awhile since I have no idea what I am going to do. But ... Please review! And oh! Thank you to everyone who just added me to their lists and stuff and for the reviews! Thanks so much :D When I check my email it said I had 12 new and I was like "whooa!" But I'm glad that you guys like it. Still hope you do ... I really need to stop make these author's notes so long. I ramble. Sorry. Bad habit. Anyway!! Review and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible. :D Peace!**

**Joyful-soul3**


	7. Getting Better

\

"Bella" Sarah asked, shocked. I knew she'd be surprised to see me, especially since I was all cleaned up. She knew that I wouldn't be coming for Charlize any time soon. But after my nice little visit from Edward, I wanted my daughter.

"Hi, Sarah," I said with a smile that clearly shocked her even more. "Is Charlize awake?"

"Yes. she's in the living room with Alyse. Come on in." I walked into Sarah's warm and sunny kitchen, and felt a little depressed. My house was never this happy. There were no cinnamon bread smells coming from the kitchen or bright colored walls. That was something I would need to change.

When I walked into the living room, I felt worse. There sitting on the window seal with a sad look and Mr. Ted in her arms was Charlize. Alyse, Sarah's five year old, was on the floor playing with dolls, obviously uncomfortable by Charlize's mood. She was four years old. She wasn't supposed to act sad like this. "Charlize?" I asked, nervous that she wouldn't come to me. Sarah had always had a gossipy mouth. Had she said something that Charlize would understand?

All of these worries were crushed when I saw what I wanted to see. The moment Charlize saw me, a wave of happiness fell over her. Her face lit up, her eyes twinkled, and her mouth widened into a huge-dimpled smile, something she inherited from Jacob. "Mommy!" She shouted, climbing off the window seal and running into my arms. I've always loved my daughter, but I haven't been this happy to see her since she was born. It was like I hadn't seen her in years, and I was finally being reunited with her.

"Hey, sweetie," I said, giving her an extra-tight bear hug. I was never going to let go of her.

"Where's daddy?" Crap. I couldn't flat-out tell her the truh yet. It would be too hard on her. Plus, she was two. How would she even understand?

"You know how we went on a little vacation? Well, Daddy is still on that vacation but I had to come home because I missed you too much."

"Will he be back soon?" She was so eager to see her father. How would we ever be able to tell her that we'd be living in separate houses? And that she would have a stepmother? I couldn't even thing about how Carrie would be her step mom. There was no way in hell that I was going to let Carrie call Charlize her daughter.

"Yes," I said. "He should be back very soon. And in the mean time, why don't we go home and make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?" Charlize was happy with that plan, of course, and after we gathered up her things and I thanked Sarah, we headed home.

* * *

While listening to Charlize talk about what she did - more than half of the words I couldn't understand - I got a little worried. Would Edward be at my house? He said he would stay away. But how far away? Would he be watching over Charlize and I?

When we walked through the door, I sent Charlize to her bedroom to go put her things away. I went to my bedroom and looked in the bathroom, the closet - everywhere. Edward was no where in my house. That was good. But maybe I should close the curtains if he was outside watching. No, he wouldn't do that. Edward was never the creepy stalker type. Of course, a lot may have changed. "What are you doing, Mommy?" Charlize asked. She was standing there in the doorway of her bedroom watching me shut all the curtains like a crazy person.

"Uh ..." I said, trying to think of a good answer. "I just ... It's too gloomy outside. I don't like it. Now, how about those cookies we talked about."

I always loved baking cookies with Charlize.. She always wore her little apron with the geese on it and sat crossed legged on the counter. She put way too much chocolate chips in the dough, and I warned her that if she kept eating the raw dough she wouldn't feel well. I knew she wouldn't listen though.

I was having so much fun until there was a knock on the door. How could it be? Maybe Jacob was here. That'd be okay. Charlize needed to see him. I opened the door and was surprised to see Sam Uley standing there. He looked the same as always. Hadn't aged a single day in the past six years. "Sam," I said, motioning for him to come in. He looked nervous, as if he had bad news or something. "What brings you here?"

"Are you busy?" He asked. He was kind and polite. But I could tell he had something important to say.

"I was just baking cookies with Charlize. What do you need?"

"I need to talk to you." Just what I thought. I brought him to the living room and left Charlize in the kitchen dropping dough onto a cookie sheet. But I knew she was only eating it.

"Tell me," I said. I wasn't nervous because, honestly, how bad could it be?

"A vampire is in Forks." I should have know that's what this was about. Of course the pack would know of Edward's arrival.

"It's Edward. I know." A look of shock flickered across Sam's face. I don't think it was from the fact that I knew. It was probably more about how calm and relaxed I was.

"You've seen him?"

"Yes. He came by today before I went to get Charlize."

"And? What happened?"

"Long story short: I got pissed and told him to leave."

"Why was he here?" Dammit. I didn't want to answer that question, even though I knew it would come. What was I to tell him?

"Apparently Alice saw me in a car wreck. Dead." That wasn't so bad.

"So did he come to prevent it or what?"

"Yeah," I said, half telling the truth. "I was too upset to drive and he stopped me from getting in the car."

"And you repaid him by yelling at him?"

"Did you want me to give him a kiss on the cheek?"

"No," he said, seriously, but I could tell he felt stupid. "Did he say how long he was staying."

"No. Sorry."

"That's fine. Just ... Damn. I hope he still follows the rules."

"He should."

"Bella ...I'm sorry. I know this must be hard on you."

"I'm getting better, don't worry," I said, not lying.

"You're right. I haven't seen you this good in awhile."

After Charlize shoved a few cookies down Sam's throat, he said he had to get home because Emily was making dinner as usual. Every time Sam said Emily's name, I could see the love in his eyes. His love for her somehow managed to grow and grow everyday. I was sad that I might never get that, but I was some how partly happy Jacob would. I was upset about it, but Jacob was a very good man and he deserved the best.

* * *

Three in the morning. God, why can't I sleep? Today was almost a half good day. Set aside the fact that Edward was here in town, it was a wonderful day with Charlize. I felt really good. So why can't I sleep now? Was it the fact that Edward could be near, listening or watching. Well great ... Now that I officailly have Edward on my mind, I'm not going to be able to sleep at all. Charlize was sound asleep next to me. Of course, as I had predicted, she woke up two hours ago with a stomach ache from all the cookie dough. I didn't scold her though. I couldn't. She was too precious. And she's a child. They always eat all the cookie dough and -

Wait. What was that? I saw something outside. It was white and fast .. God dammit. I told Edward to stay the hell away from me. What was he doing here watching me not sleeping? And what can I say to him? Didn't any of the yelling earlier get through to him? I really don't want to fight with him. But I don't want him watching me. Maybe we could just talk. No, I don't want to put up with him. I hate him too much. But I am curious about what his family's been up to. They were always so kind to me. Was Alice still the same ole shopaholic? Was Carlisle still a doctor?

I took a deep breath. Did I really want to sit down and have a conversation with the vampire who broke my heart? It could work, I guess. I'd have to tell him that I didn't want to talk about our past. I just wanted to know about his family.

I made sure Charlize was asleep before I shut the door. I put on my sweater and walked to the glass door that went out into the backyard. I took a deep breath again. I just needed to stay calm. No need to get all worked up. I just wanted to know about his family. I slid the door open and the cold breeze made me shiver. I stepped out onto the porch and looked around, to see if he was in my sight. He wasn't, of course. Always in hiding. "Edward." I said in a normal tone, knowing he would hear me. He'd have to come out, too.

I was right. Here he came from the shadows, his white skin glowing in the dark. "Bella?" He asked, slowly approaching.

"Come inside. I want to talk to you."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So ... This sucked. I feel like I rushed this chapter. But I am tired and I have to wake up in like six hours. Errrr... So, the next chapter will be good since we get to find out what Edward has been doing. Yay :D I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. And thanks for waiting for this chapter. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review! You don't have to, but I love to know what you think. Okay I should go... Listen to music and sleep ...**

**_I'd chime in ... Haven't you people ever heard of closing a God damn door? No. It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of hope..._**


	8. Pleasant Conversations

"You want to talk to me?" Edward asked. Not in disbelief, just a litle surprised.

"Yes, I do," I said, "and it's freezing out here so come inside." I motioned for him to come in the living room, and he walked in, cautiously. I'm not sure why. He would have known if anyone were here. "Please be quiet. Charlize is asleep. "He stood in the middle of the room looking around as I shut the door. "Please, sit down." He sat in Jacob's chair, ironically, and I saw him wrinkle his nose. I tried not to laugh. "I'm sorry, I don't really have anything you can drink."

"That's all right," he said, hiding a grin. "So, what brought this on? I thought you hated me."

"Oh, I do." I could see the hurt in his eyes, and I tried to ignore it. "I just wanted to know how your family is doing."

"They're doing well."

"What has everyone been doing lately?"

"Carlisle and Esme are living in Denali with Tanya's family. A newborn found it's way to them, so they're trying to help her adapt."

"Is Carlisle still as doctor?"

"Yes," he said. "He works a hospital in Juno."

"What about everyone else? Where are they?"

"Alice and Jasper are in Norway at the moment, and Emmett and Rosalie are in Toronto."

"Are they posing as students again?"

"Emmett and Rosalie are pretending to be in college. Alice and Jasper are mainly just running around Europe."

"And what about you? What have you been doing?" I was actually curious about what he had been doing in the past six years. But I tried not to let him see that.

"I've mainly been living in Maine. But I visit everyone else often."

"What are you doing in Maine?"

"I teach a history class at a local college."

"I bet all the girls are madly in love with you."

"Yeah," he said. "They're all failing."

"I know why," I said, laughing. He laughed with me.

"Do I get to ask you questions?" I wasn't planning on letting him ask the questions, since he'd probably ask the wrong ones.

"It depends on what you ask."

"What about your daughter?" That wasn't so bad. I knew he'd be curious about her.

"What would you like to know?"

"Tell me about her. What is she like?"

"She's got a lot of Jacob in her. The same hair, the same smile, same dimples. She's got my eyes, though. And, sadly, she got my clumsiness."

"That's not good," he said, trying not to laugh. "You still have a problem with that?"

"I'm not as bad," I said, embarrassed. "Hey, at least she's smart like me."

"Is there any chance she'll, you know, be like her father a little too much?"

"Yes, there's a chance."

"Are you worried about it?"  
"Yes, I am. I just want her to have a normal life and if that happens then ... I don't want her to grow up around what I've been going through. Werewolves, vampires - any of it."

"Are you ever going to tell her anything?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"What does Jacob think about it?"

"He feels like we shouldn't hide it from her. But I just ... I don't know."

"I wouldn't tell her."

"But how could I hide half of my life from my own child?"

"Well," he said, "I really don't know. I guess it wouldn't be a good thing to lie. But why would she ever have to ask?"

"She'd probably be curious on why Jacob isn't aging."

"Yeah, that'd be a problem. And it'd also be a problem if Charlize saw me."

"Huh?" I asked. But it was too late. Charlize had all ready walked out the door. Dammit! Didn't Edward know she was getting up? Why didn't he get the hell out of here? "What is it, sweetie?" I asked - trying to sound as calm as possible - as I went over to her.

"My tummy hurts," she said. I sighed. Aloe Vera never worked on her. It was as if she was immune to it.

"What did I say about cookie dough?" I picked her up and headed towards the kitchen, but she stopped me.

"Who's that?" She asked, pointing to the vampire on my couch.

"Charlize, this is a friend of mine. He stopped by to ... talk."

"Hi, Charlize," Edward said, standing up. "My name's Edward."

"Okay," Charlize said sleepily, and Edward laughed. I went to the kitchen and gave her so more aloe Vera. And that was all it took. She was awake now. Dammit. It was after three in the morning. This would mess up her sleeping schedule.

"We've got a problem," I said as I walked back into the living room with Charlize on my back. I made Edward looked alarmed, and it made me laugh. "She's awake now," I explained and he smiled. We were both a bit startled, though, when Charlize got off my back and jumped onto Edward's lap. "Charlize!" I scolded.

"It's fine," Edward reassured me. "So, Charlize, what's this I hear about too much cookies?"

"Mommy and I made some," she said.

"And she ate most of them," I said. "Raw."

"I heard you're not supposed to do that," he said. Charlize did her famous Jacob Black eye roll and I couldn't help but laugh. I sat back down, feeling oddly okay with the fact that my four year old daughter was sitting on a vampire's lap. Edward seemed totally fine when she leaned her head against his shoulder. "So is aloe Vera like caffeine for her?" He asked me.

"No, she just gets excited when company is here."

"Do you want to see my room?" Charlize asked. Whenever I had company over, she always had to show them her room. And showing them her room meant showing them all of her dolls and stuffed animals and books.

"Charlize, no. It's late, you need to get back to bed."

"Mommy ..." She complained.

"It's fine," Edward said. I glared at him. Couldn't he see that I was trying to get her back to bed?

"Fine. But if you start showing him your toy collection, I'm sending you back to bed," I warned her. She grabbed Edward by the hand and pulled him towards her tiny yellow bedroom. And I heard her introducing him to her animals. I knew it. My warnings never worked.

I'm insane. How was I this comfortable with the fact that the vampire that I absolutely hate was in my daughter's bedroom being forced to shake hands with her teddy bears? This had to be a dream. No, I had been using that excuse too much lately. It never was a dream. So I think I'm just insane. I mean, I hate him. I really do. Yes, it was a pleasant conversation, I guess. But how could I trust him this much? Well, to tell the truth, he was being very good with Charlize. I just don't understand how this was happening. Maybe I was too tired and as a result it was effecting my thinking? That could be it. I felt wide awake though. And what was Jacob going to think about this? What would he do if he found out that Edward was in my home and with his daugher? He would kill me.

What time is it? Three forty five. They've been in there for ten minutes. That's it, I need to get Charlize to bed. And myself to bed. Okay, I just needed to get Edward out of my house. This was insane. I walked into her bedroom, getting ready to scold her. But I couldn't. Edward was sitting on the floor and Charlize was sitting on his lap again. There were stuffed animals all around them. He had her favorite teddy bear in his hand and he was tickling her with it. Edward looked up at me, laughing. He noticed the tears forming in my eyes, and got worried. "Bella?" He asked. I looked down, blinking, hoping the tears would go away.

"Charlize," I said, looking up again. "You really need to get back to bed."

"But -" She started.

"Charlize Renee." Calling her by her full name was all it ever took. She got up off Edward's lap, and did something that made me have to look down again. She told him goodbye and kissed him on the cheek. She then grabbed her teddy and went back to bed.

"Bella?" Edward asked. I was forced to look, even though I didn't want to.

"You should go," I said. He was standing not very far away from me, and I could smell the scent coming off his skin. I still loved that smell.

"You're right, I should." He headed towards the glass door, but I stopped him.

"Hey, you know, it looked like Charlize was having a lot of fun with you. You can stop by again, if you like."

"What time?"

"I'm not sure. I'll ... I'll call for you."

"Okay," he said, smiling. And then he was gone.

Oh my God. What the hell was wrong with me? I had had a conversation with him, which was okay, really. But then I let him play with Charlize? And then I invite him back? I was very truly insane, wasn't I? I hated him. You don't invite people you hate to your house. Nor do you have pleasant conversations with them. My God ...

Was I falling in love with him again?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So what did you think? I hope it was all good. And, as always, I'm too tired to re-read it again. I really should try writing stories during the day so I'm not so tired. Curse the person who brought a laptop into my bedroom. Oh wait, that was me ... Anyway, please review! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter :D I'll get the next chapter posted as soon as I possibly can.**

**Peace.**


	9. Feelings

11:00 AM. Are you kidding me? I'd slept in that long? Well I guess it was all right. I was up until after three talking to Edward and then up until five thinking about what the hell I'd just done. I still didn't understand why. Why did I invite him back?

Crap. Where's Charlize? I didn't want to get out of bed, but if she was in the cookie jar, she was going to get it. "Charlize?" I called, tumbling out of my bed. When I opened the door, I was surprised to hear voices in the kitchen. Well, not surprised. More like worried out of my mind. She was never supposed to open the door. "Charlize!" I called again. And the Jacob walked around the corner.

Dammit. I was screwed. His face was tense with fury, and I knew that he knew that Edward had been here. Of course he would. He'd be able to smell him. And I know that he must have been worried sick when he realized his daughter smelled like a vampire. "Bella," he said. Oh man was I going to get it.

"Mommy!" Charlize yelled, running towards me. Still hyper as usual. "Daddy came back! And I told him all about Edwawd."

"Oh really," I said, picking her up. I was avoiding Jacob's eyes. If looks could kill, I'd be dead if I looked at him.

"Bella," I head him say.

"Yep?" I still wouldn't look at him.

"May I speak to you?"

"Sure. Hey Charlize, would you mind picking up your bedroom? You left it a mess last night."

"Fine," she said, moping off to her bedroom. That little girl knew how to pout.

I finally decided to look up at Jacob, and I was right about the whole looks thing. He walked towards the bedroom without another word, and I followed. He shut the door behind me. It probably took a lot of work for him not to break it. It seemed like a few hours before he finally spoke. "Bella," he said, in a tone so furious it made me cringe. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" I knew exactly what he was talking about, of course, but for some reason I was playing him.

"How could you bring that bloodsucking bastard into my home?"

"Last I heard this is now technically my home. Remember, you gave it to me so you could go live with precious little Carrie?"

"This is not about Carrie and I. This is about you letting our daughter near one of them. What the hell is wrong with you? How could you?" He was making a lot of effort not to raise his voice too loud knowing it would have scared Charlize.

"How could I?" Now I had to work on keeping my voice low. "You left me. I tried to shoot myself a few days ago for Christ's sake. Yeah. Wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"I was in pain Jacob. A lot of it. Both Edward and you were gone. I had no one. How did you honestly expect me to react to you imprinting?"

"I thought you would understand."

"Wow, Jacob Black is officially an idiot. You know me a lot more than that."

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Do you even care if I tried to shoot myself?" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't. Unbelievable.

"Just answer the question."

"Edward was the one who stopped me from shooting myself. I wanted to know what was going on with his family, so I invited him in last night to talk. Charlize was asleep, but she got up because her stomach hurt. I gave her aloe Vera, but then she started to talk to Edward and ended up showing him her room." I said all of this in a monotone, like I had answered that question for the thousandth time. And then my bitchy tone came on. "And you know why I let him in? It was because he gave a damn about me. Unlike you. You don't even care that I almost shot myself. You didn't even ask why I didn't go through with it."

"Bella - "

"Nope, don't you dare. See, Jacob, I know you. I know when you care and when you don't care. I should, since I was married to you for five years. So you don't get to have any excuses for why you didn't ask. And you know what, you can leave."

"I am not - "

"Yes, you are," I said. I wasn't going to rest until he was out of my house. I was getting ready to explode. "This is my home now. So get out."

"You're not keeping me away from Charlize."

"I won't. But I am keeping you away from me. I don't want to be around you. So leave."

"As long as you don't let that filthy mother fu -"

"You are right, it was a mistake. I won't let him near her again. Just get out, I want to be alone." Jacob muttered something unintelligent under his breath, and then stomped out the room. I heard him say goodbye to Charlize, kiss her on the cheek, and leave. Thank God he was out of here. I mean, honestly, how could he not care about the fact that his own child could have been motherless? Oh wait ... Of course he wouldn't worry about that. He'd just give her to sweet little Carrie. He probably wished I would have gone through with it so I was out of the way. No, there was no way he was that heartless. I knew him. But I thought he would at least care. Did imprinting really make you not care at all about the person you were with before? He had tried to explain it to me before, but it didn't make sense. I wasn't big on the whole soul mate thing, so it was all too weird. Now it was all too real.

"Mommy!" Charlize yelled from the other room, making me jump. When I walked out of the bedroom, I saw her at the coffee table. She spilt her milk. Again. Jacob never understood why I gave her a sippy cup instead of a real glass. Didn't me having to shampoo the carpet about every two weeks because of dried milk ever get through to him?

"Charlize," I scolded. "What have I told you about these glasses?"

"Daddy."

"I'm not letting you blame it on him this time. You should know by now."

"Sorry." I kissed her on the head to show her I wasn't too mad, and went to the kitchen and got a towel. Thank goodness it stayed on the table and her clothes this time. I wouldn't have to deep clean the carpet. I sent her to her bedroom to change while I wiped up the table.

I almost want to slap myself right now. I keep wanting to step out the door and call for Edward. After my argument with Jacob, I could really use someone to talk to. All though I kind of won that argument and I told him that I wouldn't let Edward near Charlize, I still wanted to talk to him. So bad it was making me anxious. I told him that I would call for him today. Okay, if he's coming back, I at least need to take a shower. I probably look like a wreck.

I was trying to slow myself down, but it didn't work. I was in and out of the shower in less than ten minutes, and I never wore makeup. So I found myself at the glass door very quickly, about ready to open it and call for Edward. And then I remembered Charlize. Even if she was little, she would be suspicious of the fact that the company came from the backyard. Okay, so, bad plan. I'll just go to the front door. Okay, Charlize is in the living room, she won't hear me. It's not like I even have to yell for him. I opened the front door and walked out onto the porch. "Edward!" I whispered. And out of no where, he appeared, doing that crooked smile that I could never forget.

"You whispered?" He said, laughing.

"Would you like to come inside?" He was standing directly in front of me now, still smiling with a look of playfulness in his eyes.

"Of course I would." I walked inside, motioning him to follow. Charlize hadn't noticed us yet when we walked into the living room. "Hello, Charlize," Edward said.

"Edwawd!" Charlize yelled, leaping up from the floor and running to hug him. He got down on his knees to give her a full hug, and I wondered how fragile she must feel to him.

"Hi, sweetie," he said, laughing. "How are you today?"

"Good."

"What are you doing?"

"Drawing. Come look!" She grabbed him by the hand and dragged him over to the coffee table where she had paper and crayons everywhere. She showed him all of the scribbled drawings she had made, and Edward commented on every one of them. While they sat there on the floor, I went to the kitchen to make myself of coffee. Decaf, since I was all ready jittery enough. Today felt like, well, like it did a long time ago. I always got excited whenever Edward would come, and today I was excited. This was so strange. About a week ago, I absolutely hated him with all my heart and he knew it. Today, I felt like I could forgive him for anything. And part of me didn't want to feel that way. I didn't want to forgive him, because he put me through hell. He didn't necessarily deserve my forgiveness. But when I walked back into the living room, how could I be mad at him? There he was, sitting on the floor literally drawing with pictures with Charlize. I knew he was probably drawing some ridiculous masterpiece and she was going to be amazed. But this was a side of Edward I had never gotten the chance to see. A fatherly side, something that he would never actually get to do.

"Hi, Bella," he said, noticing me standing there staring at them like an idiot.

"Hi," I said, shaking my head, trying to act normal. "What are you two drawing there?"

"I'm - " Charlize didn't finish her sentence, because she finally looked at what Edward was drawing. "Whoa." She said, making him laugh out loud.

"What?" I asked, all ready knowing he drew something amazing. "What deserves a 'whoa' from you?" I went over to look at the picture, and I gasped. I knew he was going to draw something beautiful, but for some reason I didn't expect him to draw me. It was just drawn with a black crayon, but the details were incredible. I looked exactly as I did when I looked in the mirror before I opened the door. It was unreal.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked, looking up into my eyes.

"It's ... amazing," I said. I looked him directly in the eyes, and we just stared at each other for a few seconds. The smile had faded from his lips, but his eyes said it all. He was still in love with me. "Charlize," I said, releasing myself from Edward's eyes. "Will you be okay in here by yourself for a few minutes?" Edward, realizing what I was doing, got up from the floor and stood beside me.

"Uh-huh," she said, staring at Edward's picture again. I set my coffee cup down and motioned Edward to follow me. I led him into what I always referred to as the office, just because there was a desk and books but it was mainly used for storage. I shut the door behind him, and then turned to face him. We just stared at each other again.

"Bella," he said, noticing that I wasn't going to be the first one to speak. "What is it?"

"What's happening?"

"I don't really know."

"Are you still in love with me?" This caught him off guard. He stood there for a moment, hesitating about something. I couldn't tell if he was afraid to tell me or if he honestly didn't know.

"Yes," he said, so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

"That was pretty much all I needed to ask," I said, going for the door, suddenly afraid of my feelings. But he was in front of me in the blink of an eye, blocking me from the door.

"I need to ask you something."

"What is it?" My voice cracked, because I knew what was coming up. I wasn't prepared to answer.

"Are you in love with me?" Now I was the one who was standing there, looking down at the floor. I was scared to answer, and I still didn't know. Yes, I was feeling different about him lately. But was it love, or just kindness? I couldn't tell. One part of me wanted it to be love. Another wanted it to be nothing but forgiveness. And another just wanted out. Why could I just be one part and know what was going on inside my mind for once? Did I love him? I loved the way he was with Charlize, how he respected me, and how he was just plain kind. I loved how he didn't say anything harsh to me and how he acted like I never tried to shoot him. I loved the way he forgave me for trying to kill myself, even though he never truly said it. I loved the way I could tell everything that was going on with him just by looking him in the eyes. I loved the way he was in love with me. That was when I figured it out.

"Yes," I said, looking up at him. He didn't say anything. He just touched my cheek with the back of his hand ever so lightly, and bent his head towards mine. In the first time in over five years, our lips met.

* * *

**Author's Note: No! This isn't the end. I'm not at all done yet. But did you like it? I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I possibly can. Thanks for waiting for this one, and thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. And I just got really excited because this is the longest chapter I've written yet!! I was trying to beat chapter six and I did. Yay! Anyway please review and I hope you liked it!**


	10. Someone

I had completely forgot what it was like when I was kissing Edward, how wonderful it felt to have his stone cold lips against mine. I had my arms around his neck, my fingers clutching his hair, and I pulled him closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, also, until there was no space between our bodies. I shivered, but not from his ice cold skin. We were both desperate, crossing the boundaries that Edward had had six years ago. When my lips parted and I breathed in his glorious scent, he didn't even turn into the unresponsive stone as usual. Neither of us would let go for breath, afraid that this moment would die. We just kept kissing. But when I started to unbutton his shirt, he broke away. "We can't do this," he whispered.

"Oh," I said, completely breathless and disappointed.

"Charlize."

"Oh," I said, understanding why he had pulled away. I thought about trying to get more words out, but I was too breathless.

"She's probably wondering where we are by now."

"Yeah ... Just, hang on, I need to catch my breath." He laughed, pulling me too him and kissing my forehead. He tucked my head under his chin and began to stroke my hair.

"Oh Bella," he said. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." We stood there while I caught my breath, and I never wanted to move again. I loved how right this felt, with us just holding each other. I wasn't going to let him leave me again. Never.

"Should we go?" He asked, noticing that I was back to my normal breathing state. "She is getting curious."

"You can read her mind? She's not like me?"

"Yeah, I can read hers. But now she just went back to into her drawing."

"Probably trying to copy yours."

"Probably." I looked up at him, and he smiled at me and kissed me lightly. "Come on," he said, taking my hand as he opened the door.

"Edward, I can't let her see," I said, looking down at our hands intertwined and realizing how much I missed that. He nodded, kissing my hand and then dropping it. We walked into the living room and Charlize was in the same spot, inspecting Edward's picture. When she got up, she went to Edward and wrapped her arms around his knee again.

"Come draw," she said, trying to pull him towards the table. He laughed, going willingly, to sit on the floor beside her. I sat down on the couch, grabbing my now cold cup of coffee and watched them. He drew another masterpiece, this time of Charlize, and it amazed her again. And then she yawned. Of course. I knew last night would throw her off track.

"You tired?" Edward asked, as she curled up into a ball beside him. She just nodded and shut her eyes.

"I'll take her to bed," I said, getting up. "Last night messed up her sleeping schedule."

"I can take her," he said, picking her up and cradling her in his arms. He took her to her bedroom, so graceful and quiet that she didn't even move, and was back in a few seconds. "Dead asleep."

"Did you put a blanket over her?" I asked, sitting back down.

"Yeah." He sat down beside me and took my hand, kissing it again. "I love you," he said, touching my cheek. "I always will. I need you to know that."

"I know," I said. "I will too." He lifted me onto his lap, and and cradled me in his arms. We just sat there, not saying a word. We didn't need to. It had just been said. Even though none of this made sense to me - about how I could go from hating him so much that I wanted to kill to loving him so much that I would die if he left - I didn't really care. I just cared about the fact that I was with someone that cared about me and loved me. Someone who knew what I needed, and was giving it to me. Someone who was repairing me.

Oh dear God, please it stays this way.

* * *

**Author's note: Wait! Please don't kill me! I know it was short, and I was going to make it longer but I decided to put that into the next chapter. So please don't murder me for the shortness. But thanks for all the reviews! Sweet! Past 20. I'm so happy people are liking this :D I'll get the next one up soon. I promise. And oh yeah, I'm sorry the kissing part was so crappy. I suck at writing that kind of stuff since I don't really know what it's like. So I had to have Twilight on my lap and see how Stephenie Meyer described it. I hope it worked a little bit.**

**I love Edward so much :)**


	11. Real Pain

"So, what do you feel like doing today?" Edward asked me, smiling. It was just a day like any other day since Edward and I had found our way back to each other three weeks ago. He came over everyday to play with Charlize, and when she took a nap, Edward and I would lie on the couch together and talk. Jacob hadn't come back yet, thank God. Charlize asked about him every other day, and I told him he was away on business. We really need to tell her the truth soon.

"I don't know," I said, looking up. I was making Charlize French toast, even though I knew she would only eat half a piece. She was in the living room, watching cartoons since it was Saturday. "What do you feel like doing?"

"I'm up for anything you want to do." He was so sweet, always letting me make the decisions. Or Charlize. But I always had to rephrase her plans since they never made sense.

"Well ... If you stayed here with Charlize for awhile, I could go to the store."

"For groceries? You went shopping yesterday."

"I know. I was actually going to go to Wal-Mart and buy some paint and other stuff. I'd only be awhile."

"Paint?" Edward asked, looking skeptical. I knew he was dying to hear what I was thinking.

"I want to redecorate," I said.

"Why?"

"Because this house is depressing."

"Yeah, it is a little ... Werewolf style."

"Oh come on! Werewolves and vampires don't have a different taste in houses."

"I think I might have to go against you on that one."

"Whatever," I said, trying to get back to the real point. "I just don't like the colors or anything in this house anymore. I want to redo it, and I was wondering if you would be so kind and help me."

"Bella," he said, wrapping his arms around my waste. "I will help you with whatever you need. I love you." He kissed my forehead, but I had to unwillingly shake him off when I heard Charlize laugh in the living room. She could see us if she looked, and I didn't want her to ask questions. "Sorry," Edward whispered, taking a step away.

"Please don't be. I'm just - "

"I understand, don't worry."

"Thank you," I said, looking up at him. He was so insanely understanding.

"So ... Redecoration. Colors?"

"Yellow and purple." From the look on his face, I got the feeling he thought those colors were odd. "They're Charlize's favorite."

"What's your favorite?"

"Blue. I'll get curtains in that color."

"What about furniture?"

"I don't think I can really afford that."

"I - "

"You are not going to shower me with money, Edward Anthony."

"You sound like Esme when you say my name like that," he said, grinning. "Your French toast is burning." Oh damn. I always got distracted when he was here. Charlize hadn't had a non-burnt meal in a long while.

"Crap," I muttered, throwing the toast in the trash.

"Would you like me to take over?"

"Yeah, why don't you. I need to go get ready." I allowed Edward to start cooking, at a normal pace, I told him. I went to the bathroom to get ready, even though I didn't really need to. I got ready early in the morning before Edward came, actually putting a little bit of makeup on. When he noticed it, he frowned, saying I didn't need it. So instead of putting more on, I took it all off. I felt no need to change my clothes, so I was pretty much ready to go. "Charlize," I said as I walked into the dining room. Her and Edward were at the table. She was eating, while he sat there and talked. She looked up at me, with syrup covering her mouth. "Napkins, sweetie," I said, sighing. The little lady that she was wiped her mouth with her sleeve. I looked at Edward, who was trying very hard not to laugh. I decided I was just going to let her be, I wasn't in the mood to scold. And of course, it was insanely cute. "Charlize would you mind it if Edward watched you for awhile? I've got to go to the store."

"Mmmm," Charlize mumbled, mouth full. I knew that met yes, so I kissed her on the head and told her I'd be back soon.

"How long will you be gone, exactly?" Edward asked as we walked out to the car.

"About a half hour. Not long, I promise."

"Okay." I kissed him lightly on the lips so neither of us would get too carried away, and then got into the car.

* * *

When I got to Wal-Mart, I prayed to God I wouldn't see anyone I knew. Especially any of the guys from the pack. And all of those hopes were crushed the moment I saw Leah Clearwater standing in the hardware aisle. She looked up and saw me, the sour expression on her face as always, and I waved. She never talked to me, so I hoped she wouldn't get the sudden urge to now. As I walked towards a different aisle, she walked towards me with a peculiar and furious expression. And I knew right then and there that she could smell his scent on my clothes. "Bella," she said.

"Yep?"

"What have you done?"

"Did I do something wrong?" I was trying to play innocent, but I knew that she could see through me.

"I'm going to tell Jacob."

"You know what? Go ahead and do it."

"What?" She asked, shocked.

"Yeah, Leah. If you want to go off and play bitch and tell him, be my guest. I don't care." By the look on her face, I knew she couldn't figure out what to say. So I just left and went to go find some curtains. I knew she would leave, phase, and tell Jacob everything. Oh shit. That means he'll come to the house. Dammit! How could I be so stupid? I left my cart in the aisle and went racing out to the car. I knew that no matter how fast I drove, I wouldn't make it home in time. So I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Edward's number.

"Hello," his musical voice answered.

"Edward, I just made a huge - " A knock on the window made me look up and see Jacob's furious face. Oh no. "Shit," I said.

"Bella, wha - "

"Nothing, I just realized I forgot something. I'll call you later. Bye." I just stared at Jacob, too afraid to do anything. Damn was Leah quick.

"Open the door," he said. I had never heard his voice this angry before. I slowly rolled down the window, pissing him off even more.

"Jacob, I don't want to do this."

"You're not getting out of this."

"Not here."

"Fine," he said, opening the door. "Move over." I was too afraid to argue or do anything against him, so I instantly moved over and let him get in. He started the car, and drove out of the parking lot at ninety miles an hour. We didn't speak the entire time, and I was beginning to hyperventilate. I was worried about what Edward was going to do, what he could do. I know he would never leave Charlize alone, nor would he bring her with him. He had no one to call and so I knew he wouldn't come after me. I felt bad, knowing he would be worried sick.

When Jacob slammed on the breaks and sent me flying forward, I realized where we were. The forest. I didn't know which part though. He got out and slammed the door so hard the window broke. I sat there for a minute, scared to death. I once knew he would never hurt me. Now, I wasn't so sure. I got out of the car, and stood by the door. Jacob was standing a few yards in front of me. His body was shaking so hard, I thought he was about ready to phase. But he didn't. Instead, he looked at me, and started yelling. "How the hell could you!? I told you to keep that son of bitch away from Charlize!!" I just stood there, not so afraid any more for some reason. "Give me one damn reason why I shouldn't take Charlize and get the hell out of Washington."

"Don't you ever threaten to take Charlize away from me," I said, walking a few feet towards him. I actually didn't expect him to say that, and it pissed me off.

"You let him towards her, Bella. How could you do that to me?"

"How could I do that to you? Where is the selfishness coming from?

"Oh shut the hell up and answer my question." My Jacob, the one I was married to for five years, the one I had a daughter with, the one who had helped me, had never said anything like that to me before.

"You know why."

"Oh I do?"

"Charlize needs a fatherly figure. Since you haven't been around for three weeks, Edward decided to be that figure."

"Why didn't you just call me?"

"I shouldn't have to call you Jacob! You're her father! Act like it!" I was only a few feet away from him now. He wasn't shaking as badly, but I knew he was working hard not to phase.

"I am sorry," he said, pronouncing the words slowly like that would help me accept it.

"Sorry's not cutting it right now."

"I'm sorry to Charlize. Not you. Don't you dare turn this on me."

"How can I not? You're the one who left both me and Charlize."

"I told you to keep him away from her," he said, ignoring my sentence.

"And I didn't listen."

"Why not?"

"Because I love him, Jacob. Because Charlize love hims. Because he loves _both_me and Charlize."

"His kind don't know how to love."

"You're just saying that because you're upset that someone could be replacing you in your old life."

"Old life?"

"Yes, the life you left behind to go spend with your Carrie. You're upset because Charlize has found herself a new father."

"Don't you dare call that bloodsucking bastard her father."

"Hey, she was the one that said it, not me."

"What?" Jacob asked, taking a step closer this time.

"Yes, she called him 'Dad' a few days ago when he was making her lunch. And you know what? It made me happy."

"You bitch!!" Jacob yelled, making me jump back about five feet. He had swung at me. He would have hit me if I hadn't moved. Now I knew I was in trouble. I started to walk back to the car as fast as possible, knowing he would phase soon. I was opening my half broken door when I felt it.

God damn did it hurt. I had forgotten how much real pain hurt. Yes, I had experienced a lot of pain throughout the years. Physical and mental pain when I would remember Edward. But real pain, like the pain I experienced when James tried to kill me. I forgot what that felt like. This actually reminded me of that time. I felt the back of scalp ripping, the blood pouring out. But my head wasn't the only thing that was getting ripped open. I felt his claws going down my back, ripping the skin and making the blood come out. I heard my loud and agonizing scream as I gripped onto the door. I felt my body being thrown back into a tree. I felt my bones cracking.

And then I felt nothing.

* * *

**Author's note: Oh my God. Please try not to kill me, because I can't believe what I just did either... Um, well ... Please review if you don't hate me. I promise to reply to them now since I've been rude and haven't been doing that. Um, yeah ... I'm going to go hide under a rock so you guys won't find me.**


	12. Gone

**WARNING!! You are going to want to kill me. But please don't. I am truly sorry about what is to come ...**

* * *

**Edward Cullen**

"Okay," she said before kissing me lightly on the lips and getting into the car. I walked back up to the porch and watched her drive off in her green Ford Focus. When I turned around, I was surprised to find Charlize standing there with the most horrified look on her face. I wasn't worried though, because I knew what was going through her mind.

"Syup, syup, syup," she thought.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" I asked, getting down on my knees.

"I spilt it," she said, a tear starting to roll down her cheek.

"You spilt the syrup? Oh, it's okay." I picked her up and walked back into the house, only to see the creamer that the syrup was in on the floor. How she managed to do these things, I didn't know. Just last week, it was hot chocolate behind the couch. I had no idea how Bella kept everything so clean. "We can just clean it up before Mommy gets here," I said, knowing that it would be impossible for Bella not to notice. I know she wouldn't get mad at Charlize though. I always knew when Bella was about ready to scold her, but then, her face would soften up and she'd just smile and say it'd be okay. She'd wipe the tears away, and then spend however long cleaning the mess that was made. I knew that feeling too, about how you couldn't get mad at Charlize. How you could take one look at her and know she was the most precious thing alive, and you would do nothing to make her cry. I thought of her as my own child, which I knew was wrong. I shouldn't be thinking that, because she was Jacob and Bella's. Not mine. But I loved her all the same.

I grabbed a wet towel to try and clean the carpet. I knew it'd be a complete failure. Charlize went to the coffee table and began on her daily drawings, while I kept working on the carpet. I don't even know how she had gotten the syrup, since I had set it a reasonable distance from her reach. Damn syrup was thick. I see why Bella didn't make pancakes or French toast often.

While I was trying to clean, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I had no idea who it'd be, since I had called Esme two days ago. I pulled it out of my pocket, and the caller ID said it was Bella. I wonder why she's calling me. "Hello," I said, waiting to hear her voice.

"Edward, I just made a huge - " She started to say. I heard a noise in the background. A knock. I also heard Bella's sudden intake of breath. "Shit," she said.

"Bella, wha - "

"Nothing, I just realized I forgot something. I'll call you later. Bye."

"Bella, what's going on?" But the only thing I heard was a dial tone. She had hung up on me. Why? I knew she was lying, of course. She was still as awful at it as I remember. The tone in her voice made her sound scared. Where was she? I didn't hear the sounds of the store, so I figured she was in the car. But who had knocked on the door? Dammit. I needed to know. Bella didn't keep things from me, so maybe she would call me. Yes, she'll call me back. Soon, I hope. I just had to be patient, which according to Bella, I never was. But I will. I'll go play with Charlize and be patient and wait for her to call me back, because she has to call me back. She will. I know it.

* * *

It's been forty five minutes. She still hasn't called. I wasn't going to push towards an hour. Bella knew me. Five minutes was enough for me, especially when it came to worrying about her. But how would I get to her? Yes, I could follow her scent. But I can't leave Charlize here by herself. I could bring her, but what if it was serious? She -

All of my thoughts were interrupted when I heard a car coming. Bella. She was here. See, nothing to worry about. But when I opened the door, I came face to face with someone I didn't know. She was middle-aged, probably in her late twenties, with dark skin and black hair. She was short and slender, and deformed. The entire right side of her face was deformed by three large scars. The side of her eye was pulled down, making it look half shut. The same with her mouth, the corner of it pulled down and turning it into a permanent grimace. And they went all the way down her arm. It was done by a werewolf no doubt. "May I help you?" I asked, getting even more worried that it wasn't Bella.

"You need to go," she said. "Now." Oh great. The werewolves had sent a woman to tell me to get out of town.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Emily, Sam Uley's wife." Bella had told me about her once, but she didn't mention anything about her deformation. I wonder how Sam could live with himself after doing this to her. I'm sure it was him. "And as I said, you need to go."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said, blocking her from entering. She did look scared, but not by me. By something else.

"Bella needs you. Go, I'll take care of Charlize."

"Where?"

"In the forest ten miles past Starker Point. Follow her scent." I didn't even think about saying thank you or telling Charlize I was leaving. Bella was in trouble. And after I heard Emily's mind, I had to run faster than I ever had. "She's dying," she thought. My Bella was dying in the forest. How had she even gotten to the forest? Was there someone there with her, telling her it'd be okay? Or was she alone? If she was, she wouldn't be for long. I took a shortcut through the forest, and caught onto her scent. I also smelt a werewolf. She was with someone. I didn't care if it was my enemy, she had someone with her right this minute. I could hear something too. Somebody was crying hysterically. Bella. I pushed my legs to go even faster, and didn't take long to finally come upon them. Bella's car was sitting there, the door open and the window broke. There were several tall men standing by a tree in a circle. Werewolves. They were looking down on something. I noticed Jacob by a broken tree, sobbing, with a man standing next to him. And I could smell it. Bella's blood. There was a lot of it. Her scent was over by where all the werewolves were standing. They saw me, but made no move. I ran up to them and pushed them aside. And there she was.

She was lying in a pool of her own blood, and I didn't even notice the scent. Her face had no expression, and her skin was pale, the blood drained. I got down on my knees, praying that she would still be alive. I then noticed all of the wounds. Going from the back of her head down to her knees were three large and deep cuts. But the worst of all was the fact that I couldn't hear a beat. I put my head up against her chest, and it was true. She had no heart beat. No. No this wasn't true. I brushed her cheek with my hand, and I didn't feel her warm blush. I didn't feel anything. And neither did she.

My Bella was gone, and there was no way I could bring her back.

* * *

**Author's note: Oh guys, please don't kill me. I got a lot of reviews saying that none of you wanted her to die and stuff like that and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about the cliffhanger again, and that I didn't stretch it out. Thank you for the advice though, ocd4bway. I'll make the next chapter longer, I promise. I just ran out of time today. Oh, will you ever forgive me?? I do love you all, because you are awesome :D**

**Okay nevermind. I probably do have to go under my rock and pray you won't all murder me.**


	13. Impossible

Gone. Gone from this world, gone to a better place, gone from me. How did I let this happen? Today was going to be wonderful. She was going to redecorate her house, and we would have a good time with Charlize. She was twenty four years old. She had a four year old daughter. She was Bella, my Bella, sweet Bella. And she's dead. I'll never be able to hold her in my arms again, kiss her on the forehead, and watch the blood rush to her cheeks. I'll never hear her voice again, her sweet and beautiful laugh filling my ears like music. I'll never have her again.

Why haven't I cried? Why haven't I shed on single tear, while my love is lying here in her own pool of blood in front of me? It hasn't hit me yet. I haven't felt a damn thing since my very reason for existence has left. Maybe that means it has hit me, and that I will never feel a thing again. I don't know. I'm in a total freeze. I can't move. I can't hear. I can only see. See Bella, all her blood gone from her body.

Jacob's voice finally brought me back into the world, forcing me to hear and look up. "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING!!" He came racing towards me, but Sam stepped in between us, making Jacob run straight into him. It didn't even make him fall down. "Why aren't you changing her? DO SOMETHING!!"

"I can't," I said, my voice just a little above a whisper.

"You can't?"

"She's completely dead. It's too late." Jacob didn't say anything. He just fell to the ground, sobbing.

"How could I?" I heard him whisper. He just kept mumbling that over and over again.

I couldn't stay here any longer. I couldn't stay here in the cold dark forest, surounded by werewolves, while she lied there dead. I needed to get her out of here, somewhere where I could set her down, and let her lie there peacefully. Where I know that if she were alive, she would be happy. We would be happy.

I gently lifted Bella up into my arms, my shirt getting soaked with her blood. I couldn't even smell it. Everyone parted, and let me and Bella pass. Jacob didn't even look up, he was too busy crying and mumbling to himself.

I didn't ever feel the breeze on my face or the rain that was beginning to fall. All I could feel was the weight of Bella in my arms. She had only ever felt like a feather when I picked her up. But right now it felt like I was carrying a trunk, and that I was about ready to fall over. I couldn't stand the fact that I never felt her head turn into my shoulder, so that she wouldn't get nauseous from the running. I couldn't stand the fact that she wasn't moving at all, and that she never would.

When I reached the meadow, I knew that this is where Bella would want to be. I slowly walked to the center, where we always used to lay, and I set her down. The rain was pouring down by now, making all of the blood on her face wash away. Her brown hair was stuck to her face, and she had a permanent look of pain. I got down on my knees, touching her face, hoping that look would go away. And that's when the tears began to fall. My tears poured onto her face faster than the rain.

What was I to do now? She was gone forever. I was never getting her back. How will I ever be able to go on without her? What will happen to Charlize? She's the sweetest thing I've ever had the opportunity of knowing, and now she has to pay the unfair price of her mother's death.

_"Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair."_ The irony of Bella's word make me laugh. I remember when she said that to me. It was the first day I had spoken to her. One of the best and worst things that ever happened to us. "Why did you have to die?" I ask her, knowing I will never get an answer. "Why couldn't I stop it?" This shouldn't have happened. None of it should have happened. If I had just stayed in the very first place six years ago, so many things would be better. She'd be alive. Her father would be alive. She'd be happy.

Who had done this to her? Who had taken her life? "Who was it?" I ask her. "Bella, please tell me. Who did this to you?" Why weren't the werewolves even looking for the bastard who did this to her? It was someone very strong, no doubt. Someone with some kind of knife, a knife that was shaped like... Claws.

My mind flashes back to Emily's face, the shape of the three scars going down her face. Scars that Sam had given her, when he had phased and she was too close. It was a werewolf. A werewolf had killed my Bella.

Jacob's words come racing into my mind. "How could I?" He kept saying. How could he what? I remember the blood that was all over his hands. I just thought that he had tried to help Bella. But what if that blood was from when he had ripped into her back? What if he had killed her?

I bend over and smell Bella's shirt, hoping there will be scent from her killer. And hoping it won't be Jacob. No matter how much I hate him, I don't want him to be the one to have killed Bella. He couldn't have. He loved her too much at one time, and she was the mother of his child. There's no way he could have killed her.

But I can smell him. It could be from him giving her CPR, or cradling her in his arms. But it was only around her wounds that it smelt like him. It's not possible. But the way that Sam kept him from getting to Bella, and the way he kept mumbling. He had to have done it. That's why no one was going after the killer. He was right there. And it's why when he spoke, everybody glared at him. Jacob Black killed my Bella.

He is going to pay for this.

* * *

**Author's note: This was a little lame, and I'm really sorry. I had trouble with this chapter, and I hope the next one will be better. And yes, I did change Charlize's age to four. Sorry if that confuses everybody. But her being two and talking that well was just too unrealistic in my opinion. I hope you guys don't mind.**

**Thank you to everyone who has reveiwed. We're past 50 reviews, and that is so much more than I ever thought I would have gotten.**

**I love you all! The best fan fiction fans ever :)**


	14. Deep Sleep

"Edward?" I didn't hear or smell anyone approaching, so the sound of a man's voice startled me. I looked up and saw Sam Uley standing a few yards away from me. I didn't feel like saying anything or wiping away my tears, so I just let him stand there while I looked at Bella's colorless face. She was still so amazingly beautiful, even without the scarlet blush in her cheeks or her sweet smile. "May I ask you something?" Sam's voice made me look up again, and I saw that he was closer. I nodded, showing him that it was all right to talk. "What are you going to do with her body?" Not that question. I never wanted to see the day where I had to talk about Bella's body and her funeral. Yes, I didn't want to change her. But I know Bella would have talking me into it. Even if I tried to set aside what she wanted, I still gave it to her anyway. When I'd see her face fall from disappointment, my heart would crumble. I would have given Bella anything in the world. "We can't leave her here." Why did he have to keep interrupting my thoughts? Couldn't he see that I was in a state of agony, and wanted to be left alone?

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, looking up to see him standing directly in front of me.

"My family owns a little clinic in La Push. We can put Bella there until the funeral." Put Bella there. What awful words.

"All right," I said. "I'll take her there now."

"But you can't pass the boundary," Sam said, stopping me from lifting Bella up. "You'll break the treaty."

"I don't really give a damn about the treaty right now." I picked Bella up, and ran off, leaving Sam there to deal with a broken treaty himself.

I didn't have any idea where I was going. I had never even heard of a clinic in La Push. And why the hell was I trusting a werewolf? How did I know they weren't going to take Bella, and blame me? And give Charlize to that dog? Well, that dog will pay soon. He won't be getting away with this. Never. He killed my Bella, and no one was even punishing him. Where was the justice in that?

When I came up to the La Push boundary, I didn't even think twice about the treaty. Now, where would they keep a clinic? I remember Bella telling me about the community center, so maybe it's next to that. I decided I would start at a normal human pace, even though I knew anyone who say me would know who I was. It didn't take long to spot the community center; it was the largest building here. And I was right, the clinic was right next to it.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn't quite sure what I should do. Do I just walk in? Will they know what to do? While I was standing there thinking, I heard a noise. Someone was walking out of their house. I turned around, only to see an old Indian woman standing on her porch. She was just standing there, watching me. I had a feeling she knew what I was, but I didn't care. So I just turned away and walked into the clinic, not liking the feel of her eyes on me.

The La Push Family Clinic was smaller than my house. There was an old woman sitting at the reception desk. She took one look at Bella in my arms and burst into tears. _It's true... How can it be true? Poor Charlize. _I shut her thoughts out, not wanting to think about what I was going to tell Charlize. I looked around the room, and saw a doctor walk in, along with Emily by his side. _Oh God, Sam was right. _I wish I didn't have this power. If I couldn't here Bella's thoughts, then I never want to hear a thought again. I wish they would all go away. "I'll take her," the doctor said, trying to take Bella from my arms. No, they weren't going to take her from me. I took a step back, shaking my head.

"Edward," Emily said, holding her hands out as if I was going to attack her. "Just let him take her. He's not going to do anything to her." Why was Emily even here? She was supposed to be with Charlize.

"Where's Charlize?" I asked, wanting to know if she had given her to that son of a bitch that killed Bella.

"I called Sarah to take over. I needed to come and talk to Michael," she said, motioning to the doctor standing next to her. "Just please, let him take her and you can go to Charlize. She'll need you." She was right. Bella would want me to be with her. So I passed her into Michael's arms as gently as possible, and kissed her lightly on the forehead. I watched while he took her into a different room, and felt Emily's hand on my shoulder. I looked down at her dark scarred face, and saw the tears falling down.

"Do you know what really happened?" She slowly nodded, and started crying even more. "Who else knows the truth?"

"Just the pack and us. We'll just say that she was in a car wreck, and nothing else." I nodded, showing my appreciation, and got out of there as fast as possible.

As I ran too Bella's house, I couldn't think of what I was going to say to Charlize. How does anyone tell a child that she'll never see her mother again? She'll never be tucked in by her again, or get to sit on her lap? How is that even right? It can't be. A lot of people have told me that everything happens for a reason, but I don't see anything reasonable in this. Nothing at all.

When I reached the house, I was scared to death to open the door. How was I going to be able to tell Charlize? I couldn't even bear to think about it, so how could I say it? I opened the door, and smelt chocolate chip cookies. I peeked into the kitchen, and saw Charlize standing on a stool eating the dough. Bella would be so mad right now. I've even seen what raw dough does to Charlize. I remember that night, the first time I saw her. I remember sitting in her bedroom, shaking all of her stuffed animals hands, and having to learn their names. God, I wish I could go back to those nights, where everything was all right and we were all happy. We were a family.

"Edwawd!!" Charlize's voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I saw her running towards me, with flour on her face. She hugged my leg, and I bent over and kissed her head. Even though I was wearing a black shirt, I knew the blood on it was still wet. "Your clothes are wet," she said, looking at her now-wet apron.

"I'm sorry, sweet pea," I said, ruffling her short black hair in my fingers. "I'm going to go change, and then I need to talk to you."

"Am I trouble?"

"No, I just have something to tell you." I walked into the living room, with Charlize attatched to my leg. Sarah was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"You must be Edward?" She asked, standing up. "Emily said you'd be coming back eventually."

"Yes, I'm Edward. And, um, you can go home now. Thanks for staying with Charlize."

"You're welcome," she said, grabbing her purse and leaving the house.

"I'll be right back," I told Charlize and went into the bedroom to change. When I came back out, Charlize was in the kitchen again, eating way too much cookie dough. "Charlize, I need to talk to you."

"Okay!" She said, hopping down from the stool and running to the couch where I sat. "Where's Mommy?" She asked, climbing onto my lap.

"That's what I need to talk to you about. Did, uh ... Did your Mom ever explain to you what death is?"

"She says it's when somebody goes into a deep sleep and doesn't wake back up."

"Well, I have some very bad news. Your Mom was in car crash, and she was hurt very badly."

"What?" I looked down into Charlize's terrified face, and tried my very hardest to keep the tears back.

"She was hurt so badly that ... She's gone into a deep sleep herself, and isn't going to come back." Charlize sat there for a moment, trying to take it in. And then she lost it.

"No!!" She screamed and started crying. She buried her face into my chest, and started yelling Bella's name. I could no longer hold my own tears back, and so I just sat there, holding Charlize and crying. There was not a word I could say that would comfort her nor me. All we had was each other at this point. She was going to rely on me now, since I wasn't going to let Jacob near her again.

In that moment, I realized how much I loved Charlize. She was the only thing I had now. The only thing that was ever going to make me smile again.

* * *

**Author's note: Sorry that this took a really long time. I'll try to get the next one out sooner, and I'm also sorry that these last couple chapters haven't been really good. I'm having the hardest time writing from Edward's point of view. If anyone has any tips for me about writing from his POV, please tell me, it would be much appreciated :) Please review. I love y'all!**

**PS The old Indian woman on the porch will be explained later.**


	15. Angels and Wishes

The past two nights have been the most excruciating nights of my entire life. Sure, I was apart from Bella for more than five years. I knew that she was alive and that she was happy. But knowing that I'll never hear her voice or see her smile again makes me want to kill myself. Why haven't I? Why haven't I gone to the Volturi and ended it? Maybe if Bella was right, and I wasn't eternally damned to hell, I would end up in heaven with her. To see her glowing face again and to kiss her warm lips -- I would want nothing but that. So why don't I just get on a damn plane to Italy?

No, no. I can't do that. I just remember the little motherless girl wrapped up in a blanket beside me. She's been crying straight since I told her what happened, and she even cries in her sleep. It kills me every morning, when she wakes up and goes running into Bella's empty bedroom, and starts screaming. I haven't been able to say anything that will remotely comfort her. She keeps asking for Jacob, and that makes my bone shake with anger. He hasn't come by the house at all, which is a good thing since I would have the hardest time not tearing his head off right there on the porch in front of Charlize and most likely Carrie. I would like to kill them both, because they both caused this. Carrie had to come into his life, and he had to follow her like a helpless puppy, leaving Bella to fend for herself. And then I had to come into it, and screw it even more up. But still, if I hadn't come, Bella would still be dead. She would have shot herself there in the living room, leaving Charlize alone like she is now. It was all that damn imprintation shit. If I hadn't come, she'd be dead. If Jacob wouldn't have imprinted, she'd be alive. But I wouldn't have gotten her. I wouldn't have known this beautiful little girl beside me. I wouldn't have been able to have the three happiest weeks of my life. But my happiness doesn't mean anything. Bella's life did.

Hearing Charlize gasp beside me made me jump, and I saw her once again run into the bedroom, only to see a perfectly made bed with no Bella in it. I got up off the couch to be ready to hug her when she started crying, but she just stood there and stayed quiet. "Charlize?" I whispered, getting on my knees beside her.

"She's not coming back, is she?" She asked, a single tear going down her cheek. I wiped it away, and kissed her cheek lightly.

"No, she's not." Charlize didn't burst out into tears or start screaming. She just wrapped her arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Please don't leave me," she said, the tears starting to come down a bit harder.

"I'll never ever let you go. I promise."

* * *

I finally got Charlize to eat some reasonable food, since all she had were a few crackers she found out Bella was dead. She curled up on the couch later, but refused to watch a movie or have me read a book to her. She just wanted to lie there in silence, and look at the picture of her and Bella that was framed on the wall. I did sit there for a few hours, watching her, but after awhile I just couldn't handle it. I needed fresh air or something. So I stepped out onto the porch and sat on the porch swing where Bella and I had sat for many nights. I remember the night where she must have told me she loved me about a hundred times. She just wouldn't stop saying it and she wouldn't let go of me. And that was the last night I had had with her.

_"I love you, Edward," she said, snuggling up against my chest._

_"You've told me that like a million times tonight," I said, laughing quietly._

_"Well I do."_

_"I know you do, love. You do know that I love you back too?"_

_"Do you know that you've said that like a million times tonight?" She said, mocking me. I reached down below her ribs and started tickling her -- her only ticklish spot I discovered earlier today. She was trying to tell me to stop it, but she was squiggling and laughing too hard to get any words out. At one point she slapped my arm, only causing herself pain._

_"Ow!!" I grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, apologizing for tickling her. "You should be sorry."_

_"You know, you're not very good at acting mad at me."_

_"Shut up," she said, her cheeks turning red. I sometimes didn't understand when she would blush at certain things, but I still loved it. She would always turn a bright red color, and then try to somehow cover her face because she knew she was blushing, and then I'd laugh and she'd blush even more._

_"I love you," I said, kissing her forehead. "I'm never going to let you go."_

_"Please don't." I kissed her on the lips, and as I usually had the past couple weeks, got carried away with it. "Sorry," I said, pulling away._

_"It's all right," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I don't mind at all."_

_"Bella. Behave." She snorted, turning the other way to look at the stars._

_"Do you believe in angels?"_

_"I believe in you." Even though she wasn't facing me, I could tell she was trying not to smile._

_"Look, a shooting star," she said, pointing to a long steak of light that went across the sky. "Do you believe in wishing?"_

_"I do."_

_"What'd you wish for?"_

_"You."_

_"You all ready have me, stupid."_

_"I wished that you're never leave me. What about you?"_

_"I wished for the same thing."_

_"Well then, Isabella Swan, it looks like we're never leaving each other." She laughed, turning her head to kiss my ice cold cheek. "Why won't you marry me?" I know I had caught her off guard with what I had just asked, because she shifted around as if she were uncomfortable. Great, just great. I had to ruin a beautiful moment with an awkward question._

_"Who said I would never marry you?"_

_"I don't know. I just thought you probably wouldn't ever do it."_

_"Well you've never asked me to."_

_"Will you marry me?" I could tell by the way she looked at me that this was all a little sudden and random. "I'm sorry, I suck at being romantic." She laughed, and that made me relax, knowing that I had broken down some of the awkwardness._

_"You are too good at being romantic."_

_"But I'm awkward as hell."_

_"Edward, will you stop putting yourself down?" I opened my mouth to say something, but she covered it with her finger. "Things may not seem perfect, but they are because you are with me." I again tried to say something, and this time she covered my mouth with her entire hand. "I will marry you." I tried to say something, but I couldn't find words. I had been wanting this to happen all of my existence, especially since I had met Bella, and most definitely since I had come back. I knew Bella was never the marriage type, and I also knew she was worried about it now since her divorce from Jacob. But right then, in these past ten seconds, she had agreed to be mine and only mine. I've never been so happy._

_And since I couldn't say anything, I just wrapped my arms even tighter around her, and locked my lips on hers._

Bella had agreed to marry me, right here. If she were still alive, we could be planning the wedding right now. Why, of all the times she could have left me, it could have been before that night. It was so upsetting to think, that less than a hundred hours ago, Bella was engaged to me. I had never even given her a ring. I hadn't planned it at all. It just came out of my mouth unexpectedly. She --

Wait a second. What the hell was that? I smelt something. Something that smelt like my own kind. Who else was here in Forks. It's someone I know. Dammit, who is it? They're coming closer, I can hear them. "Did you tell him we were coming?" Esme. Now I can smell them clearly. My family's here. Alice probably saw me holding Bella's body. In less than a few seconds, they all came walking out of the trees. "Edward," Esme whispered, and came running to hug me.

"Hi Mom," I said, holding her tightly in my arms. Everyone was on the porch now, just looking at me, not knowing what to say. Nothing really had to be said, I knew why they were here.

"Is it true?" Esme asked, a cheer rolling down her cheek. I couldn't say anything, I just nodded. Esme and Rosalie started crying, and buried their faces into Carlise and Emmett's chest. Jasper walked to the other side of the porch, his head in his hands. He didn't even know how to react. And Alice just stood there, staring at me. I could hear everyone's thoughts, and none of them knew what to do. The thought of the beautiful girl who had made such a mark on all of us -- even Rosalie -- being gone just shut us down. Our senses stopped working and our minds collapsed.

"Edward," Alice said, being the first one to say anything for a few minutes. I didn't reply to her, and she didn't expect me to. The little black haired pixie just fell into my arms, and held onto me as tightly as possible. Neither of us cried like the others, we just held each other so tight it began to hurt. But we wouldn't let go. We didn't know how to. We all needed Bella.

Our wishes would never come true.

* * *

**Author's note! So, this was a little pointless but pretty much I just needed another depressing chapter in here... Sorry guys, I'm stuck in the University of Oregon library with my sister and we've been here for two hours and will most likely have to stay for another two hours so the point of this entire sentence is to tell you that I am bored. Yeah. So I decided to write. And my wrists are killing me becausing there's no cool squishy thing by the keyboard and this chair and desk are stupid so it's rubbing agaisnt my wrist and now my skin's red and it hurts. Did anyone get what I just said?? And another thing to say, sorry for any typos, but Internet Explorer had to be a dumbass and close on me and it didn't save my work and so now I'm just not up for re-reading this entire thing again. So yeah... If you notice something that sounds weird you can just tell me. But also, thanks for the reviews people!! hugs I love you all :) And also, thank you to Sugarbaby87 for telling me that I was writing Edward's POV well. That made me happy!! smiles But I think I am going to stop talking since this is an insanely long author's note... God, what's wrong with me? Oh right, I'm bored!! Well I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can. It'll be about Bella's funeral. Yes yes, more depressing stuff. So yeah... I'll talk to you guys later. And hey, how was everyone's day? Seriously I want to know. I love my fans :) Haha yeah... Don't worry I'm not a stalker... Like Rhiannon... Just kiddin' hun, I love you! Ok, I really need to stop writing. Someone take the keyboard away from me. Please. Or I will continue all of this pointlessnessness. Ok yeah bye!! Really I'm leaving this time!! Bye!!**


	16. Rain and Roses

"She's such a beauty," Alice said, looking at Charlize on the couch watching cartoons. "So much like her mother."

"Yes, she is," I said, trying to not actually look at the little girl all dressed in black. I didn't want to look at anybody, their faces covered with sadness. I thought having my family here might help, but it just made things worse. Emmett and Jasper had gone into a furious rage when they found out Jacob had killed Bella, and wanted to go pay him a visit. No matter how much I wanted to, I had to talk them out of it. There was no way I was going to tell that little girl she'd lost her other parent. "We should go," I said, putting on my coat. "You guys can head out to the car, I'll get Charlize, okay?"

"Okay," Esme said, kissing my cheek as she went by. I walked over to the couch, grabbed the remote and shut the TV off. Charlize looked up at me, a look of horrifying sadness on her face, the kind that made you feel a million times worse than you all ready felt.

"It's time to go sweet pea," I said, holding out my hand. She nodded, sliding off the couch and grabbing my ice cold hand. "Charlize wait."

"What?" She asked, looking up at me.

"I have explained to you what's going on today, right?" I asked, getting on my knees so I could be eye level with her.

"Yes, you did. Everyone who cared about Mommy is going to tell her goodbye." A tear started to roll down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away, as if she didn't want to cry.

"Sweetie, it's okay to cry," I said, taking her into my arms and hugging her.

"Mommy wouldn't cry. She was strong."

"Yes, she was. Much stronger than me." I hated how true those words were.

* * *

Carlisle offered to drive to drive to the church, while I sat in the backseat with Charlize. Her thoughts were very calm, she was thinking about Bella and things they had done together. It saddened me even more, to see the pictures going on in her head of them making cookies together. It wasn't until we arrived at the church did she start to freak out. "Too many sad faces, too many sad faces," she thought, her hands starting to shake. I kissed the top of head, and hugged her tightly. I had been so scared about how hard this was going to be on her. I was scared about having to watch her stare at a casket, and look at the entire town in tears. And I was scared that I was going to tear her father's head off when he showed up. Jasper noticed Charlize's new mood, and he helped calm her down some. It only helped a little bit. No power in the world could make a child feel good at her mother's funeral.

I knew no one at the funeral, but they knew me. They didn't give us glares. They were more worried looks, as if they expected us to do something. Their eyes then went to Charlize in my arms, and a look of sympathy and sadness went over everyone. She was very calm, only worrying about the sad people staring at her and where the dead people were. I kissed her temple, and hummed Bella's lullaby to her. I sang her that song every night, putting her to sleep like I did with Bella so many times. We just stood there, together, while my family tried to mingle throughout the church. But for the first time in a long time, they didn't know how to. They couldn't think of anything to say or do. So they stood there in the corner, looking at a picture of Bella, one that I had taken a few weeks before she died. We had had so much fun that day, pushing Charlize on the swing set even though it was about 50 degrees out. It was a time of pure happiness. Happiness I might never see again.

* * *

"And while she sleeps in peace, we wait for the day of the Lord's return, when we have the chance to talk with her again for all of eternity. Amen."

"Amen," Charlizewhispered with the preacher, who was just closing up his speech. He talked about Bella's life; about how she moved to Forks to live with her father, and how she went through many hard times - times that I wasn't there for her - and how she fell in love with Jacob Black and had a wonderful baby girl. I could feel tremors running down my body when they mentioned him. Jasper felt it too, but none of his calming powers helped me. I felt like getting up and taking the preacher's place and tell everyone what Jacob had done to her. How he was the cause of this, and how he had caused his little girl the most pain in the world. Not even Esme's "No Edward" looks put logic into my brain. It was when I felt Charlize move on my lap that I realized I would scare the hell out of her. Then I realized that everyone probably all ready knew. And what were they doing about? Nothing. When the preacher mention his name, everyone thought about one thing: _Poor Jacob. He lost her. How sad._ They are feeling sorry for the man that killed her. He didn't lose her. Charlize and I did. He knew what he was doing. He murdered her, and he's not taking responsibility for it. No one's even making him. He doesn't deserve to be in cell for the rest of his life, no. I agree with that. He deserves to be in the ground. And I'll put him there if I have to.

"Edward!" Rosalie said, shaking my shoulder. "Jesus Christ, are you okay?" The moment those words came out of her mouth, she regretted it. "I'm sorry, I know you're not. You were just out of it."

"It's okay," I said, standing up. I realized Charlize wasn't with me. "Where's Charlize?"

"With Esme." I had been so entangled in my thoughts about Jacob that I hadn't even realized she had left. I then realized everyone had left the cemetery and were now in the church, where it was dry. "You're soaked," Rosalie said, sitting down next to me.

"So are you," I said, looking at her designer clothes. Rosalie chuckled, and took my hand, squeezing it tightly. It then fell silent, none of us saying anything, not even breathing. I stared at the coffin in front of us, covered in red roses which were being washed off by the rain. I heard the men on the other side of the building who were waiting for us to leave so they could take Bella's coffin to the meadow. Since my family had planned the funeral and Bella's family wasn't around for it, they had obeyed my request to bury her in the meadow, a place where she had been very happy. I knew she wouldn't have wanted to be here in a graveyard; a place that was full of sadness all around. She would want to be somewhere happy; somewhere that made you smile from it's beauty or the memories you had there. The meadow had both of those things.

"We should go soon," Rosalie whispered, afraid to talk any louder. "Charlize is tired, and quite overwhelmed with all of the people." I nodded, standing up. She stood up next to me, and hugged me tightly. "I'm going to miss her too, you know."

"I know," I said, kissing her blonde hair. I put my arm around her and we walked back to the church. Before we opened the door, she looked to me with a very annoyed face. Knowing Rosalie, something could always annoy her no matter what.

"My clothes are shrinking." I laughed, kissing her ear. Rosalie had actually always been there to break my mood a little bit, saying something to make me laugh or get me mad so I would forget about being sad. It was usually the mad one. But this time, she made me laugh. It was nice, laughing again after Bella. She would want me laughing. She'd want everyone laughing instead of crying.

When we entered the church, only a few people looked at us. Everyone else was either talking or watching Charlize with my family. But when I walked over to Charlize in my soaking wet clothes and told her it was time to go, about everyone gasped when she said, "Okay Daddy." My family almost did too, finally realizing how deep my attachment was to Charlize and her's was to me. We knew that all we had were each other.

"Come on," I said, taking her hand.

"You're wet. You gonna get a cold," she scolded, sounding just like Bella did when she'd get annoyed with Charlize. I chuckled, squeezing her tiny little hand.  
When I looked up, I found myself coming face to face with an old Indian woman. She looked oddly familiar, with a strange expression on her face. It was a mix of anger, sympathy, worry, and the look Alice would get when she'd see a horrible vision. I couldn't get any straight reading on her thoughts. They were constantly changing, not even becoming complete thoughts, and they were total jabberish. "Charlize, go with Esme to the car," I said, pushing her lightly towards my family, who were looking at me with confused faces. This old woman and I just stared at each other. Her lips were moving slightly, as if she were whispering, but I heard nothing. "What do you want?" I whispered sternly but kindly.  
"Don't do it," she said, gripping her hands around what appeared to be a rosary.  
"Don't do what?"  
"You'll know...You'll know..." She looked at the giant cross on the wall and silently prayed, and then turned back to me. She wouldn't talk though. She kept moving her lips but wouldn't say a word.  
"What do you want?" This time I wasn't as kind. I was worried. What the hell was she talking about?  
"Bella wouldn't want it..Trust me. Whatever you do, don't hurt him."  
"Who?"  
"You'll know..You'll know..." The lady then left to go over to the giant cross on the walland kneeled. She moved her body back and fourth, gripping onto her rosary until I could smell blood. Who the hell was I going to hurt? Jacob? And how did she know what Bella would want? I couldn't hear her prayer, and I couldn't even make it out in her thoughts. She managed to grip the rosary tighter and more blood came trickling out of her hand; the edges of the cross piercing deeply into her skin. She was crazy. She didn't know what she was talking about. There was no body in my mind, no one that could know what I wanted to do to Jacob. No one could know. This woman had no idea what she was talking about.  
I shook it off my mind, and walked out of the church to the car. I climbed into the back seat with Charlize, ignoring the looks from my family members. Jasper noticed my sense of worry, confusement, and anger. Don't you dare do it, Edward.  
"Stay out of it guys," I snapped, low enough for Charlize not to hear me and loud enough for them to here me. That shut them up until Alice tried one more plea to stop me from going.

* * *

I considered the fact that he might smell me, and try to get away. But even if he did, he'd have precious Carrie to look after and that would slow him down. I'd get to him if it was the last thing I did.  
As I spring lightly to his porch, I avoid thinking of anything. Nothing human, nothing happy. Tonight, I let my true side take over. I let myself be a monster.  
I rang the door bell and a young lady answered the door. "Hello," she said, a warm smile on her face. I could tell by her thoughts that she had been having a talk with Jacob. He had something that had made her laugh. Son of a bitch.  
"Where's Jacob?" I asked, not even thinking about being nice or gentle in any way. My cold tone scared her, and she took a step back.  
"Who are you?" She asked. I studied her, and a new plan hit me. I was going to have to do something with her while I killed Jacob. I could have a little fun, since this would be the best way to torture him. Make him feel like I feel. But maybe killing her would be too harsh. I at least could leave a few scars, maybe some permanently broken bones. Make her wish she was dead. "Sir, who are you?" She asked again, taking another step back, getting ready to bolt if she had to.  
"Your worst nightmare." She started to run, but in less than a second I had the door shut and her up against the wall with one hand.  
"Jake!!" She screamed, and covered her mouth with my other hand. He came racing down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw me threatening to break her neck.  
"Edward," he said, a sound of worry and pure anger. This was going to be a blast. "What are you doing?"  
"Well..."I said, curling ice cold fingers tighter around Carrie's neck, making her gasp for air. "I thought it was time for a little talk."  
As Carrie started to whimper, I wrapped my fingers a bit tighter, and changed my mind. I lightly pulled, and heard a lovely cracking sound. Her lifeless body fell to my feet, and Jacob's heart fell with her. "What do you say Jacob? Ready for a nice chat?"

* * *

**Author's note: Damn...He's going to have a really nice chapter of pure evilness. Well, I am so so so so so so (x1000000000000000000000000000000) sorry that this took so long!! My life's been really crazy, with high school and everything at home. I've been so out of wack, I've been forgetting to even read Rhiannon's stories!! (I'm so sorry hun!) We've just got some serious stuff happening at home, something I've got to let God take care of, and so new chapters haven't been coming into my mind. The next one will be up a lot sooner, since I have most of the fight scene (whoops...well I guess you knew there would be a fight scene all ready). I hope you liked this one, I wrote most of it really early this morning while I was hgaghewkghwrijhgjkerbg on caffiene. And also, so sorry I haven't been replying to reviews. I don't have time to check my mail lately, so if I don't reply, please know I still love you, ok? hug Love you guys, you're the awesomest fans!!**


	17. Blood and Bones

"How could you?" Jacob asked, pulling Carrie into his arms. His tears ran down his face onto hers, and I didn't even feel sorry at all. "She did nothing."

"She was the one of the reasons Bella's gone," I said, pulling a knife out of my pocket.

"She was pregnant with my child!!" He shouted, the tears coming down harder.

"So?" I asked, sitting down on the stairs. I didn't feel anything. No remorse for Jacob and no sorrow for the innocent child I just killed. The monster had truly taken over.

"What's happened to you?" Jacob asked about my new personality. "Bella would be so upset." I leaped off the stairs and grabbed Jacob by his neck.

"You are not allowed to speak of Bella, do you understand me? And how would you know how she would feel? I'm surprised you remember her name, since you acted like she didn't even exist."

"I didn't mean to kill her."

"I told you NOT TO TALK ABOUT HER!!" I slammed Jacob into the wall, and he went through it into the kitchen. He lied there on the floor like a child, sobbing endlessly. I looked down at Carrie, her eyes still open, and decided that I would taunt him. I grabbed Carrie by her hair and dragged her through the hole in the wall like a rag doll.

"What are you doing?" Jacob choked, trying to get up off the floor.

"Just having fun," I said, grinning. I set Carrie in a chair, and then pulled the water pipes out from the wall. "First, I have to make sure that you go no where." I bent the pipe around his ankles and his wrists, not actually sure if it would hold. It would for awhile though. Enough time for me to get my fun in. "People always say that in order to really know someone, you have to explore their inside." I took the knife in my hand and placed it up against Carrie's forehead. "Why don't we meet the real Carrie?" While Jacob started to scream, I sliced deeply but slowly into her forehead, slowly starting to scalp her. The blood flowed out fast and freely, and I realized how thirsty I was. Even though she had been dead for a few minutes, the blood was still warm and smelt delicious. I wasn't sure if I just wanted to suck her blood out or if I wanted to cut her up into bits and pieces.

"Please stop," Jacob said, trying to get out of his handcuffs. I knew the fight with him would be lame because he was so stricken with grief.

"All right," I said, done cutting into her scalp. I decided I would do something worse. I threw her body onto the floor, and then, using my teeth instead of the knife, cut into her chest. As Jacob's sobs became louder, I dug my hand into her chest and pulled out her heart. It was still very warm with nice beautiful bright red blood dripping off of it. I stood up, licking some of the blood off my hands. She didn't taste as good as I had hoped she would. I walked over to Jacob and set the heart on top of his chest. "Now you truly do have her heart," I said, laughing. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at it. So I ignored him and went back to Carrie and sucked her dry. She did taste quite satisfying, and I enjoyed the look on Jacob's face as he heard the sound. "All done," I said, and threw her out of the room like a baseball. "Time to move on." I walked over to Jacob and bent down. "Oh, did you not like the gift I gave you?" I asked, picking up Carrie's heart. "Guess not." I threw it into the garbage, and then started to undo Jacob's bonds.

"You sick bastard," he said through his tears.

"At least I accept what I am, unlike you."

"I didn't mean to kill her." I grabbed him by the neck and started to choke him.

"Don't speak of her," I said, pulling him off the floor by his neck. "Ready to feel some pain, Jacob?" I didn't wait for an answer; I had all ready thrown him through the other wall into the living room. "Get up," I commanded. "Face me." He slowly stood up, his body aching.

"I'm not going to fight you like you want me to. Bella wouldn't want it."

"If you dare talk about her one more time, Carrie won't be the only one you'll lose."

"You wouldn't hurt Charlize." I was angry that he had mentioned her. I didn't want to think about the little girl who is - or was - keeping me sane. I would never be able to see her again after this. I was truly lost. Only Bella could save me. But I wasn't there when she needed to be saved, and now she's gone. I'll never be Edward Cullen again.

"You don't know that." I said this only to anger him. There was no way in hell I would ever touch her in a harmful way.

"Leave my little girl alone," he said, clenching his fist. My plan had worked.

"What I don't get is how you can still call her 'your little girl.' I mean, you haven't been around. You didn't even go to the funeral with her. And you know what, she even called me Daddy in front of the entire town. Looks like she's forgotten about you and --" Before I finished my sentence, I saw Jacob lunge at me. I dodged it, making him run into the fireplace. "For a werewolf you have really bad reflexes." He continued trying to hit me, and he continued missing. "God Jacob, how did you become second-in-command?" We were back in the kitchen by now, and I was getting tired of this entire thing. I decided to take complete control. When he ran towards me again, I grabbed him by the neck and slammed him down into the oven. Before I waited for him to get up, I picked him up again and repeatedly beat him into the refrigerator until there was nothing but a huge dent in the ground. "Are you too tired to get up now Jacob?" I asked, staring down at him.

"Go to hell," he croaked, spitting up blood.

"Oh please, that's all you can say? I almost feel sorry for you. You don't know how to fight a man at all." I slammed my foot down onto his knee cap, feeling very satisfied with the snapping noise and his scream mixed together. His bones had become completely seperated, and I doubt they would heal correctly. I did it to his other knee, only harder. So hard that his knee was completely flat. "Sorry, did that hurt?" I asked, laughing. He looked up at me, wishing I would stop. "Don't worry, I'm not finished yet." I grabbed the knife that was lying next to Carrie and I licked it clean before slicing into Jacob's arms. The slices healed quickly, but he still felt the pain. The blood flowed fast from his arms, and even faster from his neck. His body would never heal correctly after this. Well, it's not like I was going to let it heal. "All right, you had your way," I said, throwing the knife across the room. I was tired of the torture, and I just wanted him dead now. "Have fun in hell. I might see you there soon." I grabbed him by the head, getting ready to pull, and he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry Carrie," he said. How pathetic. He makes an apology to Carrie. So much anger ran throughout my body right now, and when I was less than a second from tearing his head off, I heard her voice.

"Don't do it Edward!" Bella screamed.

* * *

**Author's note: Don't kill me.**


	18. Going Insane

"Bella?" I yelled, looking around the room. I had just heard her voice. Her sweet, beautiful voice. She had told me not to kill Jacob. Was this all in my head? Was my other side talking to me in my time of need? I didn't know and I couldn't care. I wanted to hear her again or even better, see her. Maybe the doctor had done something I did not know of. Maybe she was still alive. "Bella?" I called again, not caring about the look on Jacob's face thinking I was crazy. If I was crazy, I didn't give a good God damn. "Bella?"

"Edward," I heard her say, her voice coming from behind. I turned around and came face to face with my one true love. She was alive. My Bella was alive and well, looking more perfect than I had remembered. I reached out to her, wanting to feel her warm body against my cold one. I wanted to stroke her hair and kiss her soft lips. I wanted to touch her. But when I opened my arms, she stepped away from me. "No Edward," she said, looking torn. "You can't touch me."

"What?" I said, confused about what she meant. I looked down at my hands, and realized why she stepped back. Carrie's and Jacob's blood - still fresh - was all over my hands. All I could do was stare at it, not believing what I had done. My human side had come back when Bella had spoken. And my human side was disgusted. I looked up into her face, expecting her to yell or slap me or do something, and instead a single tear ran down her cheek. I wanted to kiss it away so badly but I knew I couldn't. I was a monster. She wouldn't want anything to do with me. "I'm so sorry," I said, stepping away from her. I looked down at Jacob sobbing endlessly on the floor. He hadn't even seen Bella yet. I looked over at Carrie on the stairs, covered in blood, and thought of her unborn child that I had ruthlessly murdered. I had killed them for no reason. Bella was standing in front of me, alive and well. There was no reason for what I had done. I was truly a vampire. I was the nightmare people thought of. I was what I had destined to be. My knees suddenly came out from under me and I fell to the floor. I felt as if I was going to die, as if the so called life in my body was coming out of me. I tried to catch my breathe but I couldn't. I hit the floor with my fist, breaking the tile. I looked up at Bella, seeing that she had fallen to the ground too, sobbing. "Angels aren't supposed to cry," I choked out. She reached out for me but hesitated, and took her hand back. It made me feel worse, and I put my head down, not having the strength to look her in the face. I don't know how long I held my head to the ground, but I suddenly felt something touch my hand. I looked up and saw Bella's shaky hand caressing my bloody one.

"I didn't think I would be able to touch you," she said, half smiling.

"You shouldn't be touching me," I said, trying to force myself to take my hand away from hers. But I couldn't. It felt wonderful having her soft skin against mine.

"Why not?" She asked, scooting an inch closer to me. Her tears had stopped, but she still looked upset. Not angry or scared though. Pitiful.

"I'm a monster," I whispered, not sure if she would be able to hear me. I moved my hand but she caught grasp of it, not letting me away from her.

"No you're not." I looked at her in disbelief and I finally understood the look on her face. She felt sorry for me. How ridiculous.

"Have you looked around, Bella?" I asked. "Have you seen what I just did? How long have you even been here?"

"I just got here."

"Then have you not realized what went on? Have you not looked over at the stairs?" She slowly turned her head, and stared at Carrie for a moment. When she looked back at me, she still had no fear or anger in her face. For the first time I wanted to yell at her to get her to understand what I had done. "She was pregnant," I said, hoping that that would make her realize it. She looked down, and took my hand into both of hers, not caring about the blood that was getting on her hands. "I murdered her, Bella. I killed both her and her unborn child for fun. I tortured Jacob. I am a monster. Why can't you see that?"

"I understand that - " she started, but I cut her off, getting angry.

"Why can't you get it?! I am a murderer! Have you looked into my eyes?" I asked, and she nodded. "Than you see the red don't you? Did you notice that Carrie's also missing a heart? Have you noticed anything? Do you not see it? Do you not understand what happened?"

"I know what happened, Edward!" She shouted, getting angry too. "I understand why you did what you did. You wanted revenge. It's called anger. I know because I was killed by it."

"Killed by it?" I asked, completely baffled by what she had just said. "But you're alive? You're here. I'm touching you." She looked away from me, tears rolling down her face.

"No, I'm not alive."

"Then I am crazy. I knew it."

"You're not crazy," she said, tightening her grip on my hands. "You're not near crazy, nor are you evil."

"I killed an innocent woman and her unborn baby," I reminded her. "Why won't that sink into your head?"

"It has, Edward. I'm not going to say what you did to her was right, but I am also not going to say that you did it on purpose."

"I did though. I did all of it on purpose. I wanted to torture Jacob. I wanted him to feel as miserable as I do."

"I understand that. Everybody has gone though those kind of feelings. I did. When Jacob left me, I.. No, I'm straying from the point," she said, trying to focus on whatever she was telling me. "It is wrong that Carrie's dead. She did have no reason to die and neither did her child. Jacob on the other hand does have a reason to die."

"But she didn't," I said again."

"I know that," she said, frustrated. "Stop interrupting me. I'm trying to get you to realize that you're not the monster that you think you are." I nodded, showing her that I would shut up until she was finished. "I have explained to you what imprinting means many times. You know the kind of bond that is created when you meet your match. It's a bond that can't be broken, even when the other one dies. Jacob told me this story once, about when one of his kind imprinted on a girl he went to high school went. They were the meaning of love. Anywhere she went, he went, and vice versa. But one day, they were in a car wreck. He died and she lived. But not for long. About two hours after she had found out he died, she jumped out of the window."

"Are you making this up?" I asked, wondering if she was telling this to make me believe I was good.

"You said you wouldn't interrupt me."

"I'm sorry."

"No, Edward, I'm not making this up. I wouldn't lie to you and at that time, neither would Jacob. Do you understand what I am telling? Do you see that if you had just killed Jacob, Carrie would have been the most miserable woman on the planet? Do you see that she probably would have taken her own life?"

"So you're saying that I did her a favor?" I asked. "You're trying to justify my actions?"

"It's not working is it?"

"No, it's not."

"That's what I thought. You're stubborn, like me. I'm never going to get you to believe that no matter which way you would have done this, they would both be dead in a matter of hours. Maybe Carrie would have gone on to try to keep her child but it wouldn't last long. Trust me. You've always been good at that."

"But Bella," I began, "you're alive."

"No," she said. "I all ready told you that I'm not."

"Then how are you here?"

"I can't explain that at the moment. I just need you to do something for me."

"I'll do anything."

"I need you to go to Laura Mussina's house. You remember me telling you about her?"

"The therapist?" I asked, wondering what she would have to do with all of this.

"Yes, her. You need to go to her and she'll tell you everything. I promise."

"What about - "

"The pack is outside. They'll take care of everything here. You just need to go."

"Are you trying to save me from them killing me?" I asked, wondering why she was so urgent about me leaving.

"No, they're not going to hurt you."

"Why can't you just explain it?"

"Edward!" She yelled, very frustrated with me. "Please, just go." She stood up, still holding my hands, and I stood up with her.

"Am I going to see you again?"

"Of course you will. Please go." She pushed me towards the door and I turned from her and headed towards the door. But I stopped, afraid that I might not see her again all though she told me I would. I ran back to her and pressed my lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around my head and returned the kiss. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to remain in this kiss forever. She pushed me away though, and told me to go one more time. I ran out of the door, stopping to look Sam in the face. "She's across the street from the clinic," he said, motioning me to go see Mussina. I nodded and ran into the forest, trying to remember my way to the clinic.

I had never been so confused in my whole life. I'm unsure on what I did. I don't know how I should feel about Carrie's death. I don't understand how Bella is here. I don't get any of it. It doesn't make sense. The pack was so calm when I walked out. They weren't angry or sad. They were content. How could they not tear me to shreds? Not only had I broken the treaty, I had tortured one of their own and killed his wife. Their thoughts were only about what to do with Jacob. Didn't they know what I had done? Could somebody please be mad at me? This was unfair and confusing. What the hell was going on? My own thoughts were starting to confuse me.

I ran faster. The only time I had ran this fast was when Emily had come to the house and told me to go to Bella. I pushed my legs harder and harder to where I actually was getting tired. The clinic was in sight and I ran faster. I saw Mussina's house and remembered the night when Bella died and I saw her standing on the porch. It had to have been her.

When I got to the porch, I knocked rapidly on the door. In less than a few seconds, she answered the door and I realized who she was. The old Indian woman at the church. The one with the rosary. The crazy one. "You?" I asked in disbelief, almost forgetting about everything that had happened.

"I told you she wouldn't want it," she said, her eyes wide with the look of 'I told you so'. "Come in." I walked into her living room and noticed all of the different smells. Ginger, lilacs, cumin, daffodils, nutmeg, Green Tea, and other organic herbs. There was also a scent of Lima Beans. How strange.

"Tell me," I demanded. "Tell me everything."

"Well your one to get straight to the point," she said. I noticed her thoughts again, how they didn't make sense. Her hands weren't shaking though. She was calmer. But not sane.

"Please, I just want this all to be explained. Why is Bella here? How did you know? And why won't anyone get mad at me?!" I yelled, my emotions starting to come out. Instead of breaking the table or something violent, I just collapsed into a chair. She gave me a few moments to put myself back together until she said something.

"Where do you want me to start first, Edward?" She asked, sitting down in the chair across from me.

"How did you know what I was going to do?" She took a deep breath before starting her story.

"I'm more than just a therapist. I know things. No, I'm not a mind reader like yourself. "

"Then what the hell are you?"

"You're bad at letting the other person talk aren't you?" I looked down at the ground, remembering Bella's angry words at me for interrupting her.

"Sorry."

"Well," she continued, "I don't really know what I am. I meet someone and I know things about them that they haven't told me. Like Bella, for instance. I knew that her favorite tea was cinnamon. I also know that this confused her, by the look on her face." I raised my hand a bit, wondering if I could ask a question. "Yes?" She asked.

"Do you know things about me?" I asked, curiosity taking over for a moment.

"Bella told me everything about you."

"Oh," I said, a little disappointed. I wanted to test her.

"When you lived in Maine, you drank a vanilla latte everyday only there was nothing in the cup." I looked at her in disbelief. I did it to fool some of my fellow workers who were starting to notice how I never had anything to eat or drink. So I finally decided to go to Starbucks and get a empty paper cup. Nobody knew that, not even Bella. I had forgotten to tell her. "See? I'm telling the truth." I nodded, letting her continue the story. "So I have the gift of randomly knowing things. But my gift of seeing is interesting. I don't see everything, like Alice. I only see things that cause somebody to be hurt. When I saw you at the church, I realized what you were planning on doing."

"Wait a second," I said, not caring about the interrupting thing. "You said you only see things when it involves violence. Why the hell didn't you see Bella being killed?"

"I did," she said, looking down at the ground and wringing her hands. "You're not the only one that has screwed up. The day of her death, when I was making tea, I saw it happen. I saw Jacob killing her. I panicked, unsure of what to do. I called Sam, and told him of what was to happen. It was all I could think of. But they were too late. I should have called Bella," she said, tears starting to come down her face. She put her face into her hands, trying to put herself back together. I was unsure of what to do. I had never met a human like her. She wasn't a physic and wasn't a prophet. She was something else. Something that she couldn't explain and I was confused.

"I don't understand what's going on," I said.

"I know," she said, pulling herself together.

"What about Bella?" She humorlessly laughed and shook her head.

"I haven't even gotten to the difficult part," she said. "You've seen Bella, correct?"

"Yes," I said. "I even touched her." She shook her head in disbelief, saying that that was going to make it more difficult. "It's all in my head, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"So I'm crazy?"

"No, you're not crazy. You saw Bella in your time of need."

"You're not making sense."

"Okay," she said, "you were about to kill Jacob. You were about to make an even bigger mistake. Bella came to you to keep you from digging yourself into a deeper hole."

"I'm still not understanding why I could feel her when she touched me."

"It's just your mind, Edward. It's like having a brain tumor. You see things. You feel them."

"So Bella's my tumor?"

"No. She's your savior. She saved you today. She saved you from ruining your life. Did she ever tell you that she experienced something similar to it?"

"What?" I asked, not knowing what she was talking about. Again.

"It only happened a few times. She got out of it quickly for it was only causing her more pain. When she would do something stupid and reckless, she would hear your voice. You would tell her to stop it. She started to do stupid things more often so she could hear you, but Jacob saved her from that one."

"Bella never told me that."

"She was embarrassed about it." A silence fell over both of us as we just sat there. I tried to take it all in but it was still strange to me. I still didn't fully understand. I figured I probably never would. "Do you understand?"

"Not really," I said, telling the truth. She didn't bother to try to explain more, she knew I would never get it. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"The night of the funeral, you - " I stopped.

"Hello Edward," Bella said, walking into the room.

"Bella," I whispered, standing up.

"You see her?" Mussina asked, standing up and turning around to where I was looking. I nodded, not being able to find words. "I don't understand why you're seeing her."

"Me neither," I said, not taking my eyes off of my love.

"This can't be healthy." I didn't want Mussina to be here, I just wanted to be with Bella.

"I don't care if it's healthy or not. Please let me be with her. Let me have my moment of madness." She didn't say anything. She just left the room, going down to what must be the cellar. I knew I was alone with Bella. Mussina wouldn't dare spy on us. I instantly ran to her and kissed her, never wanting to let her go.

I didn't care if I was going crazy. I was with Bella and that was all that mattered.

* * *

**Author's note: Hmmm...I didn't like this. Ok, who got the lima bean thing? Sorry it took so long...Life sucks in Oregon. It really does. But do you know what made me super super happy this week? Oh you know this movie called Twilight...Oh my God..If you guys haven't seen it yet than you're crazy. GO SEE IT. NOW. It's incredible. Edward is just like...wow. And I am so in love with Jasper. Wow. I'm on YouTube right now watching all of these Jackson Rathbone interviews..I reccomend it! He's adorable! He's like even got this southern accent too. So cute..I'm going to marry him =] Anyway please review, I love you all, and I am so sorry this chapter sucked and took so long. Anyway, one thing I want to know is: what was your guys' favorite part of the movie? I really want to know!!! Hugs to all!!! G'night!**

**PS Jasper is my brain tumor....  
**


	19. Savior

"Oh Bella," I moaned when our lips finally parted for a split second. I was truly going insane. She had never felt so real to me. I just wanted to run away with her. Get out of Forks and away from everyone and just be insane. I didn't care. I felt happy and complete with her in my arms again. "I love you," I whispered when my lips had moved onto her neck.

"I love you too," she whispered back. Her hands gripped my hair tightly, causing me pain if I were human. She had never been this aggressive with me before, and I knew it was only because it was what my mind wanted. I pushed that thought out of my head. I just wanted to have my time with her. I didn't even know if I would ever come out of this.

"I don't ever want to stop," I said, going back to her lips. My hands started to go up her shirt, and I explored her soft skin. I had never wanted her so badly. Our boundaries were disappearing and I didn't know how long we were going to have before out clothes came off. "We can't do this here," I whispered, not sure if she would hear me.

"Where can we go?" She asked between her trail of kisses down my neck.

"Get onto my back," I said. "I know where." She smiled at me, knowing what I was thinking. She climbed onto my back and wrapped her arms around my neck. I ran out of the house, not even bothering to close the door. I ran as hard and fast as I could, taking as many shortcuts as I could find. Having her so close to me felt so amazing. And her scent, oh, her scent . . . It was so much better than I had remembered. I couldn't believe I had her back with me. My wish had managed to come true. My angel had returned.

When we arrived at the meadow, I stopped dead in my tracks. "What is - " Bella started to ask, and then she saw it. She didn't gasp or cry, she just stared at it. I couldn't do anything but stare at it either, since it was the first time I saw it. Bella's grave was but five feet away from us. Her name was engraved upon it, along with the saying _"She was God's angel to all of us. She saved us in every possible way." _But the words that popped out to us were _"Death: March 2, 2008"_. I couldn't think of any words to say. Bella was just frozen to me, not showing any emotion. She was just blank. "Bella," I said, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she said, climbing off my back. "It's just, you know, kind of weird." She walked up to it, extending her hand to touch the cold stone, but couldn't do it.

"I'm so stupid, I know. I forgot. I just wasn't thinking." I walked over to her, afraid to touch her.

"Edward, it's okay. I'm okay, trust me. I mean, it's just weird. That's all. It just proves that I'm dead." I closed my eyes and bowed my head down. I hated those words coming out of her mouth. I felt her hand under my chin, lifting my head up. "Look at me," she commanded, her voice gentle and sweet though. I opened my eyes to see her consoling ones and wrapped my arms around her as fast I could. I hugged her tightly, taking in her scent, the feel of her cheek against mine, and I was happy. I once again forgot about everything else. "I suspect you're okay now?" She guessed, a trace of humor in her voice.

"More than okay," I said, looking into her eyes again. "I've never been better. Get onto my back." She climbed on and we were out of their faster than she could blink.

"Where are we going?" I heard her say, although her voice was muffled. I laughed, noticing how she was still did not appreciate the speed of the trees going by and had to bury her head into my neck.

"Somewhere safe. Somewhere familiar."

"Somewhere where we won't be bothered?" She was onto my plan, of course.

"Yes." I felt her smile and her arms tighten around me. "I love you," I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

"I love you more," she said.

"Impossible."

* * *

It didn't feel like I was running for that long, but, I hadn't been an expert on keeping time today. I hadn't been back at my house for a month since I started staying at Bella's. "I should have guessed," she said, hopping up the porch steps. "My brain isn't exactly running so smoothly today," she confessed to me.

"You're the one to talk," I said, putting my arm around her waist. I opened the front door and we walked into together. It was exactly the same as I had left it.

"How is this place always so clean?" Bella asked, running her hand along my piano. "Do vampires not make dust or something?" I laughed, the sound making echos throughout the empty room.

"I've missed you." I wrapped my hands around hers and pulled her to me.

"I've missed you more."

"What is with all of this more crap?"

"I have no idea," she said before pressing her lips to mine and ending our conversation. The kiss deepened and I knew what was going to happen in the next few moments. She began to unbutton my shirt and let her hands explore my chest. Before she even took my shirt off I picked her up and raced upstairs to my bedroom. I gently layed her down on the sofa without breaking the kiss. We both wanted to take this slow, knowing that this was our first and only time together like this. I removed her tank top and kissed her sweet, soft skin. "I love you," she whispered, gripping my hair with her hands.

"I love you more," I said, knowing that it would make her laugh. She pulled me back to her, bringing our lips together again. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her on top of me. We remained like this for what seemed like hours, just kissing and feeling each other. It was like we were never completely satisfied. We both constantly needed more and it felt like we would never stop. The hours - or even days, I can't know - that followed were the most amazing we would ever know of.

* * *

"You have to go back," Bella said, tracing the lines of my muscles on my chest with her fingers.

"Go back where?" I asked, stroking the hair out of her face. I didn't know how much time had gone by. It felt like we had been in this room for years. Hours, days, years - whatever it was, it was the most incredible time of my existence.

"You know where, Edward. You need to go back. You need to go back to reality."

"But reality doesn't involve you." I didn't want to leave her again. I couldn't. It would kill me.

"A lot of things don't involve me anymore. I died, Edward. Remember?" I shut my eyes tightly, thinking that it would block her words away.

"Please don't say that."

"But it's the truth," she said, sitting up to face me, officially annoyed. "You can't go on like this."

"Why not? Why can't we just run away, you and I? Why can't we just be together like we were supposed to be from day one?"

"Because we wouldn't be together. It'd just be you, going insane. I'm not real, Edward." I turned away, again not wanting to hear those words. But Bella was getting frustrated with me, and turned my head back towards her. "Listen to me," she said, holding my head between her hands. "You know I love you and you love me. That's why I'm here. I came here to save you. But this can't go on forever. You have to save yourself too, along with Charlize." Charlize. Oh God. I had forgotten about her. Oh God. "Yes," Bella said, seeing the reaction in my eyes. I couldn't say anything. I was at a lost for words. I had forgotten about the sweet little girl that calls me Daddy and doesn't have a mother. How could I? "You need to take care of her, Edward. You need to save her. You have to. She can't live with you, just like you can't live without me."

"There," I said, trying to point her words out. "You said it. I can't live without you. How am I to go on?"

"You'll find a way. In fact you have. I just told you."

"Charlize," I said, hiding my face in my hands. I've never felt like such a stupid rotten bastard so much in my life.

"It's okay, it's okay," Bella told me. "She is probably wondering where you are but, trust me, your family is with her and they are plenty enough to entertain her. Go to her, Edward. Hold her. Draw with her. Sing to her. Comfort her. You are her father now. She needs you."

"I don't want to say goodbye to you." It felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I started to gasp for air, feeling like I was having my heart ripped out. Again. Bella held me to her chest, trying to comfort me. But I could feel her tears on the back of my neck. "Don't cry," I said, looking up at her. "I don't like it when you cry."

"I don't like it when you cry either," she replied. "I love you, Edward. I love you so much."

"This is goodbye, isn't it?" She nodded, the tears flowing down faster. I quickly wiped them away. "I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You're my savior. I love you, Bella Cullen. We might not have gotten our chance for a wedding, but you are my wife. And no one can ever say any different. I love you. You're my angel."

"And you're mine." She wiped her tears away again and kissed my forehead. "I love you more," she whispered. I didn't argue with her this time. "Goodbye, my love. I'll always be with you." I closed my eyes and gripped her hand tightly.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I opened my eyes, and she was no where to be seen.

* * *

**Author's note: GAHHH!!! I'm back..Really I am. Weird isn't it? I'm so so so so so (x infinity) sorry! I didn't mean to leave you guys for so long. I'm really sorry. I feel awful. This awful thing called high school can take over a person's life, along with cleaning and overcooking homemade pizza and more cleaning and the Eug and yeah.. I'm sorry. But okay! I had something to say about this story, right.. To all of the Bella lovers (I'm one too, of course...I think we all have Bella inside of us): I'm sorry that she's not staying for good. This chapter was mainly for you guys. I wanted Bella and Edward to have their happy time together before she had to leave.. And oh my God I wanted to cry when I was writing that..Anyway, I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good, I didn't think the beginning was all that well. But towards the end it started warming up. I'm sorry to those who wanted more on the sex scene *awkward face* but I wanted to keep it clean and nice. Plus I'm not good at describing that stuff..lol Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to somebody who actually reviewed twice on the last chapter...So sorry it took me forever to get this up. Anyway, thank you MiekeUyt! You're review made my day that day and thanks so much for the offering of help but I think I'll be okay ;) Anyway, REVIEW!!!! I haven't been getting as many reviews as I liked...I would really appreciate them. I want people's opinions :) I love you all...including you Rhiannon whom I never talk to anymore :( And hey! This is the longest author's note I've ever written..Gimme a break I'm tired..It's 12:02.. Okay I know vampiresrock798 I promised you Tuesday night..This is close enough isn't it? And oh God! StaticMind I am so awfully sorry that I promised you I'd update one week that was like two months ago! I'm so bad at this...I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for babbling..I just feel the need to make apologies so you don't kill me or something...**

**Anyway I love you all, please Review/subscribe/favorite/whatever floats your sailboat. :) I love you guys! *hugs***

**I watched Twilight on youtube while I wrote this :) :) :) :) :)  
**


	20. Coward

I've heard so many people say that they wish they had the chance to tell their loved ones goodbye. I wish I could tell them all that they don't. Sure, maybe the ones that said the words "I hate you" a few hours before they were killed would want to. But when they know that you loved them, it's too hard to say farewell. I'm not saying that the few hours I just spent with Bella wasn't the most wonderful time of my life. I'm not saying I didn't appreciate to kiss her again and tell her I loved her a thousand times. But to say goodbye to her, knowing I'll probably never see her face again, was like killing myself. It was worse than the time I told her goodbye in the forest, tearing her heart to shreds. That time was much easier because I knew there could be a possibility of hearing her voice and seeing her smile once again. I knew I could check up on her. But there was no way to do that now. She was gone for good. There was no trace of her left here in my bedroom except for my memories. My angel had - for the now third time - disappeared from my life. I had had my three strikes. I was out of the game.

This was going to be the last time I ever stepped foot in this house. There were too many memories of Bella - they were all wonderful, but, depressing. I couldn't think of all of the times I spent playing her lullaby or dancing with her in my bedroom. It wasn't healthy. I needed to focus on the present. I needed to be there for Charlize. That was Bella's one request, so that became my one and only duty in life. I was going to take care of _my _daughter.

I decided to take a shower to wash away some of the pain and ... blood. I tried so hard in my mind to block out everything I did. It was something I was going to regret for the rest of my life, although Bella told me not to. But that was just apart of my mind. That was the good part of my brain talking, trying to keep me from thinking I was making me key to Hell and was still a good person. I knew it wasn't true. I was a cold-blooded killer. I kept thinking to myself how a murderer could raise a little girl but, it wasn't any different than Jacob taking care of her. In fact, it was worse for him to keep her. He killed the child's mother, he has no right in her life. I didn't care of I was truly evil inside, I was going to keep my promise even if I had to run away to Antarctica with her. Jacob Black was not going near Bella's little girl.

Thinking of him made me grow full of anger and I ended up punching my fist through the tile, leaving a hole into Emmett's bedroom. Dammit. Esme will kill me for this. She hates it when we break the house. I laughed, remembering the times my sweet faced mother would yell at the guys for breaking the furniture or putting dents in the walls while wrestling. Emmett was "accidentally" pushed Jasper through the wall of Rosalie's bedroom, completely destroying her wall of a mirror. Esme wasn't the only one that was pissed off that day.

After I changed my clothes and burnt my old ones, along with the sofa, I slowly made my way to Bella's house. I didn't go extremely fast, but I wasn't in a hurry. I was trying to clear my head and was failing miserably. Finally I said the hell with it and pushed my legs faster, trying to get to Charlize as soon as possible so I could seal my promise to Bella. I had decided we were going to move far away from Washington, not telling the Pack or anyone else. I wanted to get out of here and I knew that certain people would try to prevent me from taking her. So we needed to go. Soon.

I knew that I was going to have a lot of trouble with my plan the moment I caught the scent of werewolf. Damn all to hell. They had finally decided to come attack me. I was confused though. We were so close to Bella's house. Why would they try taking me down when they knew my family was near? I decided to take the first step, trying to figure out what was going on. "Where are you?" I called, knowing they would hear me. I heard them walking towards me. They were in human form, not ready to attack. That was mildy comforting.

Sam was the first one to come into my eyesight, of course. The leader must always come first. Next was Embry, then Seth, Leah, and I didn't care to identify the others. I was just focused on Sam. "Did you come here to kill me" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"No," Sam said, not showing any sign of explaining his answer. This bugged me. His thoughts weren't even thinking about my actions. Neither were anybody else's. They all seemed to be thinking things to throw me off. It reminded me of Alice. Which meant something wasn't right.

"Why the hell not?" I yelled, not caring to keep my voice quiet. "I think I deserve it."

"Oh you do deserve it," Leah said, taking a step toward me. "You deserve to rot in hell, you son of a bitch."

"Quiet Leah," Sam commanded, keeping his emotions under control. Seth moved closer to Leah to grab her if she did anything stupid.

"She's right though. Why aren't you guys lighting me on fire as we speak?" I wasn't asking them to kill me, but I needed an explanation. A damn good one too.

"Mussina told us not to. She wanted the chance to explain things to you." That wasn't good enough.

"Yeah, that was then. She told me everything I needed to know. So what is your reason now?"

"Why do you so badly want a reason?"

"You know, I always thought werewolves were idiots," I said, getting pissed off. "I thought that was because we're enemies. But you guys are truly stupid. I killed an innocent woman. I tortured one of your own. And you guys don't even make a move on me? Have you guys gone mad or something? Leah is the only one who is thinking straight here." I motioned to her and saw the look of surprise in her face of me talking about her. "She's figuring out ways to kill me. She's actually pissed. The rest of you are calm. Why? I just want to know why you're not attacking me."

"Oh, believe me when I say we are trying our hardest not to kill you," Sam said, taking a step forward. "We would love to see the purple smoke rising from the ground where you stand. We do understand why you decided to go to Jacob's house to kill. Does it make it right? Of course not."

"There!," I said, interrupting him. " You said it. It wasn't right. So why aren't we killed Edward?"

"Will you let me talk?" I breathed in deeply, biting my tongue. Bella was always right. I sucked at letting other people explain things to me. "Jacob killed Bella." I looked away and shut my eyes, trying to push the image of her body out of mind. I heard the remorse in everybody's thoughts, making it worse. "Sorry," Sam said. I looked at him, motioning him to continue. "We know how important you are to Charlize. We also knew of Bella's wishes. She would want you to raise her."

"That's the reason you're not killing me?"

"Yes, it is. Jacob is practically worthless now, thanks to you. We've all ready prevented him from putting a bullet in his head. Not that he doesn't deserve to die just like you do."

"So, Bella was right on the whole imprint thing - one dies the other dies."

"Yeah, that's pretty much the way it works. And, since you didn't try to set yourself on fire when Bella was killed, we see the fact that you need to be the one to take care of Charlize. And don't ask for a better reason, Cullen." The hatred in his voice was finally coming to the surface. "You try to protest, and we change our mind. Understand?"

"Of course."

"And I recommend getting out of Washington," he said.

"I was planning on it."

_"Why can't we just hurry up and tell him!"_ Seth thought, clearly giving away the fact that something was wrong.

"Okay, what's up? Something's not right," I said, directing most of my words toward the youngest of the pack. Everybody turned to glare at him except Sam and Leah, who seemed a bit afraid of something.

"You have to promise you won't attack him," Leah said, almost stealing Sam's thoughts. I looked at him for more of an answer, not wanting to ask another question.

"Think of Charlize," he said before continuing. "Jacob came to see her. That's why we are here, to keep you from making a mistake."

"He is not supposed to be near her," I growled through my teeth.

"We couldn't keep him from his own daughter," Leah said, apparently not caring about anything Sam had just explained to me.

"He killed Bella. He won't be allowed to be in her sight. We need to get him away from her." I started on my way to her house, but Seth and Embry held me back.

"Edward we cannot have another fight," Sam said, coming around us to look into my face. "That's why you can't go in there."

"The hell I can't!"

"If you go in there he will attack."

"Not if he loves Charlize as much as he says he does. Why don't we see who really is the better one here?" I pushed Seth and Embry off me and ran towards the house. I walked through the door before they could stop me and I told them to stay out of the house.

Emmett and Rosalie were in the kitchen, silently talking to each other. Emmett's fists were balled up and it looked like Rose was trying to calm him down. "Edward," she mouthed, shaking her head. I just glared. I walked into the dining room, out of sight of those in the living room, seeing what I had hoped to see. Jacob was sitting in his chair, looking pained, while Charlize wasn't near him. She was sitting next to Esme on the couch, clearly not wanting to be close to her biological father. She was confused, mainly, at why he had been gone and was angry towards him. He hadn't been there for her. At all. Not even for the funeral.

I watched the hair raise on Jacob's arms and heard his thoughts change from trying to figure out why Charlize wouldn't talk to him to anger and hatred towards me. He stood up, clenching his fists, when Carlisle smoothly got up and walked past him, whispering, "Charlize." He didn't relax though, he just told Charlize he'd be back and walked up to me and pushed me out the door. I motioned Rose and Emmett to follow me. I might need a little help if this did turn into a fight.

When we got outside, he tried to throw me down the steps but failed. Instead I landed gracefully on the ground, making him angry. The pack had stayed outside where I left them, and were gathered in a semi-circle around us. Rose and Emmett joined them, not glaring for once. They knew the Pack was on their side. Kind of. "So Edward," Jacob said through his teeth. "Isn't it time for a nice chat?" His words did more damage to me than I thought they would, for he replayed the image of me snapping Carrie's neck in his mind.

"I'm sorry Jacob," I said, "for what I did. You deserved it, but Carrie didn't. I will regret what I did to her for the rest of life."

"Well you won't have that regret for long, because I am going to end your so called sorry life right now."

"No you're not," Sam said, stepping in. Jacob snarled at him, not scaring him off though.

"He killed my wife - "

"And you killed mine," I said, interrupting a sentence I did not want to hear. "Don't you forget that, Black. You killed Bella. You killed your own child's mother."

"And you killed Carrie and her baby," Jacob said, making sure I didn't forget that either.

"I'm sorry."

"DON'T - " Jacob started to shout, but Sam covered his mouth, while Embry, Seth and Paul grabbed his arms and dragged him to the forest. We wanted to be out of hearing range of Charlize. Emmett and Rosalie walked beside me on our way through the trees, and I told Emmett to shut his thoughts up. There was not going to be a fight today.

"Why not?" He said, very angry.

"Because enough blood has been shed," I replied. Rose took my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back.

"LET GO OF ME!!!" Jacob screamed, pushing the guys back so far they slammed into the trees.

"See Jacob!" Sam yelled, his temper finally losing it. "This is exactly what happened when you killed Bella."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT BELLA!! THAT SON OF A BITCH KILLED MY WIFE!!!" Right then, I almost lost it. I ran up to him tackled him down. We struggled on the ground for a bit, but I motioned for Emmett to help me pin him down. We broke his arms so he wouldn't be able to swing at us. "I am not going to kill him!" I yelled at the approaching Pack. I wanted to though. Very badly. But I knew my duty.

I wrapped my hand around his neck, cutting off his ability to speak but not killing him. "Now you are going to listen to me," I said, letting him know through the sound of my voice how much I want to kill him. "You don't want me to talk about Bella but I am going to. I know you loved her Jacob. You took care of her after I left and I will always be eternally grateful for that. You healed her. But you also killed her. I understand the whole imprint thing. Two people meant to be together, they become inseparable. I get the fact that you had to leave Bella. But you could have done it with a bit more grace and love. And you also didn't need to leave Charlize like that."

"That's what this is about?" Jacob choked out. "You're scolding me for abandoning them?"

"Did I say you could talk?" I squeezed a bit tighter, letting him get the message. "I guess we have a bit of a pattern, Jacob Black. I leave Bella, you heal her, you leave her, and then I heal her. I was there for her and Charlize. I prevented Bella from taking her life and brought Charlize out of a depression. I saved both of them. And when you found out that I had taken over for you, you went into a mad rage. You killed the woman you once loved. You tore her body up. And you didn't even have the decency to show up to her funeral to support your daughter. You sick rotten coward.

"I'll always be sorry that I killed your wife. I've apologized to you. I've let it be known that I regret it. But I haven't heard one little sorry from you. I haven't heard in your thoughts any sign of regret of killing Bella. That sickens me more than the memory of snapping Carrie's neck." Jacob let out an agonizing choke, remembering what I did. "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you not like to hear about what I did to her? How do you think I felt when I saw Bella's body in a pool of blood?" He didn't say anything to me, he just glared at me.

"I hate you," he whispered.

"Right back at you, Black." I released his neck and shook my head at him. "Can't do it, can you?"

"Do what?"

"Apologize."

"I don't need to apologize to you." I grabbed his neck again, this time squeezing tighter. I held my hand up to the Pack, telling them to stay out of it.

"You're right, you don't need to make any apologies to me, just like I didn't apologize to you. I apologized to Carrie. You need to apologize to Bella and Charlize." I loosened my grip enough to let him speak, but he didn't say anything. "It's so sad, Jacob. You really have no love left in your heart for them. It disgusts me."

"You disgust me."

"All you can do is throw insults at me. It's depressing." I let go of him and stood up. "You can release him Emmett." Jacob stood up his arms, still broken so I knew he couldn't hit me. "Did Carrie ever know what you did?" I got nothing but a glare for an answer. "That's what I thought. God, how awful. I really used to think that you were much more of a man than me. I thought you were a much better person. But you're nothing but a coward. In fact, coward doesn't even cover it. You're nothing. You're beneath all of us. You didn't deserve any of the love you have received. I pity you."

I started to walk away, taking Rose by the hand and leading her away from Leah's glare. "So you're just going to leave, you stupid bloodsucker?" Jacob asked. "And you call me a coward."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Did you just call me the coward? I can't think of anything I did to deserve that title. I accepted what I did Jacob. I'll be making amends for it for the rest of my life. You could at least think of trying to do the same thing." I started to walk away again but I stopped. I turned around, looking him straight in the eye and said, "Just so you know, that was the last time you'll ever see your daughter again." And with that I left, ignoring Jacob's yells and the grunts of the Pack restraining him from attacking me. I knew Sam would take care of it and would do whatever he had to with Jacob. I didn't care. He was out of my hands now.

I wished him a long and miserable life.

* * *

**Author's note: Wow. Is this the longest chapter I've written? I think it might be.. *yawns* I'm tired now. Well, you know the routine! Review please =] They make my day happy. And also, special thanks to StaticMind who helped give me the idea of bringing Jakey Boy in one last time.**

**Btw, I want you guys to know that I actually do like Jacob a lot.. I just didn't like it when he was trying to steal Bella from Edward. I didn't appreciate that :( But he was fantastic in Breakign Dawn :)  
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